Perfect Your Work Life Balance | Neil Morecraft

Archive: Neil Morecraft | Perfect Your Work Life Balance

Sadaf Beynon: [00:00:00] Hey everyone. While we're gearing up with some fantastic new episodes for Push to Be More Podcast, I wanted to revisit one of our truly impactful conversations from the archive. In this episode, our guest, Neil Moorcraft, talks to host Matt Edmundson about his deeply personal journey of self improvement and of finding fulfillment in life.

What's particularly relevant about this episode today is how it emphasizes the importance of mental and physical well being, a topic that's increasingly significant in our fast paced world. Neil shares candid insights about overcoming negative self talk, the benefits of adopting healthier habits, and the profound impact of fostering genuine connections with loved ones.

With so many of us juggling multiple roles and facing similar challenges, his [00:01:00] experiences offer valuable lessons and inspiration. So whether you're navigating your own personal growth or looking for ways to enhance your overall well being, this episode is a timely reminder of the power of self reflection, and self discipline.

Matt Edmundson: Welcome to Push To Be More with me your host Matt Edmundson. Now this is a show that talks about the stuff that makes life work and to help us do just that today I am chatting with Neil Moorcraft, a high energy businessman. Technology Entrepreneur and Performance Marketeer who has been transforming businesses for over 25 years.

He's the owner and operator of Digital Directive, a full service digital agency and technical consultancy that serves high, high growth businesses worldwide. Now he has experienced it all, raising, founding, exiting, dissolving, Liquidating, over seven companies, dealing with personal [00:02:00] struggles and even declaring bankruptcy in 2015.

But he has bounced back from it all and developed a methodical and straightforward approach to the whole work life balance question that you can adopt. So Neil's a strategic thinker who brings a big picture perspective to every challenge and he empowers people to reach their highest potential. In other words, he is going to be a An awesome guest, no pressure, but Neil, welcome to the show, man.

Great to have you. How are you doing?

Neil Morecraft: Hi, Matt. Yeah, I'm good. Thank you. Yeah, that's a great introduction. Thank you for that. I'll say I'm great.

Matt Edmundson: See if we can make it so we all live up to the hype. Yeah. It's brilliant. Well, it's great to have a fellow Brit on the podcast. Whereabouts in the world are you?

Neil Morecraft: I am in between Wimbledon and Kingston, so I'm in a place called Worcester Park, but I don't say Worcester Park because no one really knows where that is, but everyone knows where Kingston is and everyone knows where Wimbledon is, and I'm

Matt Edmundson: in the middle.

But does that mean you get cheap tickets to the tennis every year? [00:03:00]

Neil Morecraft: I'm sadly not. No, in fact, I think I've never been to Wimbledon funnily enough. He's literally just around the corner, but never been. So, not a big sports man really. More golf if anything.

Matt Edmundson: Okay. Well, yeah, there's not a golf course at Wimbledon.

I know that much. So, yeah, I mean, we're reading in your introduction there. You've, you know, you've, you've, you've done a few things so far, uh, in life now. And one of the things that we do, um, on this show. And I'm changing the order of questions around slightly just to see, see what happens. And, but one of the questions I like to ask people to because the show is sponsored by Aurion Media, right, which is this podcast agency helps businesses have podcasts.

We mentioned just a few seconds ago, if you had a podcast, right, and you could interview anybody on that podcast, past or present, and that's had a big impact on your life, whether a family member, someone you know, whether someone you don't know, a podcaster, an author, [00:04:00] a TV person, I don't know, who would be who would be top of your list to have as a guest?

Neil Morecraft: Yeah, good question. I think immediately, as I said to you before, this guy, the author of this book here, Napoleon Hill, Think and Grow Rich, has probably had the biggest impact on me. And, you know, I discovered him, I don't know, 20 years ago, maybe, or something. Um, and I've read that book many times. And yeah, I think that he's clearly had, You know, a really interesting journey, having interviewed some of the world greats, so I think I'd love to get him round the table.

I don't know if I'd specifically want to ask him anything, I just want to chat with the guy, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, pick his brains. Yeah, absolutely, yeah, so for sure.

Matt Edmundson: So what is it about Napoleon Hill then, that, um, or what is it about that book that's drawn you back time and time again, because you don't read a book more than once unless something about it.

It sort of captures you and I'm curious to know what that is for you.

Neil Morecraft: I think I just, it really resonated with me when I first picked it up. I think like a lot of people, [00:05:00] you think it's about wealth, right? The title thing can grow rich and you instantly think money, or I did, um, but of course it doesn't really start with that.

And as you go through it, I just think it's got some really good foundations for life and you know, I found myself, um, I guess enjoying degrees of success quite early on in life and then getting asked the question, what do I want? And that was from a venture capitalist at a time when my second business was doing, in my eyes, pretty well.

And, uh, and I didn't know the answer to the question. And not only did it bug me, it really stuck with me. And, and, and it really changed the course of my life because I realized that. I didn't know what I wanted.

Um,

Neil Morecraft: I knew what I didn't want. And as I analyzed that, I started to look around thinking, hang on a minute, this is, this wasn't really the plan.

And I realized I hadn't really thought too much about my life at that point. I'd just been going at it full, um, you know, hammer and tongs. And, um, yeah, as I picked that book up and I started reading about it and it started to, to break it down into compartments for me, I started to realize that they were.

All these [00:06:00] other elements to my life that were really important that I'd neglected. Um, so I think it kind of just made me a better person. It certainly made me be more aware.

And, uh,

Neil Morecraft: yeah, and I still, I've listened to, I think, all of his old recordings. Today as they are, or they were back then. And, um, yeah, as I say, it's been a foundation for me and I, and I've taken bits of that and I've incorporated that into what I refer to as my power of six, which is this sort of strategy that has helped me, uh, uh, create this life work balance as I call it.

I put life first because I think that's more important than work. Yeah. Um, but yeah, uh, yeah, that, that was it really, as I say, and, and every time I pick the book up and I read it or read any material that's related to it, I always get something new from it. You know, I never stopped learning from it. And that's one thing I've taken from that book is that I never want to stop learning, you know, I always want to keep going.

Matt Edmundson: It's a really interesting thing, isn't it, that you've got these, I call them the old school books. So you've got Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill. The other ones that I, that sort of come to [00:07:00] my mind, you've got probably anything written by Zig Ziglar, but the most famous one that springs to my mind is Reaching the Top.

You've got How to Make Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie.

Neil Morecraft: Yeah, another, another really interesting, that was really impactful for me as well as a salesman. I think my manager gave that to me some 30 years ago. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going Book up and I realized that again really made a difference with without looked at things, you know,

Matt Edmundson: yeah, I totally get it I think there's these sort of old school books and they're the kind of books I give to my kids and say these are books You have to read Yeah, because I think they're going to be helpful.

I've been thinking

Neil Morecraft: about putting my son, uh, since he was 18 and I don't think he's read it yet. Every year I find another edition and I see it just used as a, you know, as a stop or an ornament somewhere and, you know, you can take a horse to walk sort of thing, you know. But, uh, one day I'm sure, I hope, he'll read it.

Yeah, sit

Matt Edmundson: down and read it. Yeah. No, really fascinating. And like you, I'd love to, I'd love, I mean, obviously it's not gonna happen, but I would love to have had the opportunity to, to, to sit [00:08:00] down with Napoleon Hill and to chat with him, Dale Carnegie, Zig Ziglar, all these old school guys, I would just, you know, what made them tick would, would be some, uh, some great questions.

So listen, Neil, we read at the start, I mean, let's, let's jump into this because I read in the bio, you know, in, was it 2015 you went bankrupt. I did, yeah. Well, what was that like?

Neil Morecraft: Um, it was tough, but it was, it was self declaration. It wasn't that anybody took me bankrupt. In fact, you know, years previous to that, I should have gone bankrupt.

You know, as I came out of what was my second business, we were part of the dot com boom, and then all of a sudden we were part of the dot com bust. And, uh, and I, there was a stigma attached to it. You know, I owed a lot of money. You know, the company failed. I was in a good couple of hundred grand's worth of personal debt.

And I just didn't want to go bankrupt. You know, I'd earned money. I'd always knew how to earn money, so I thought, well, I'll just earn the money, pay it back, and it'll all be good. Um, but it [00:09:00] wasn't, you know, it took me years going through an IVA to pay back that money. Um, my credit had suffered. Mentally, I was just in a bad place.

I just couldn't seem to get out of the rut. And when I came to the end of that IVA and I found myself, you know, clear of the debt, but in a position where I just kind of felt like I was just getting straight back into the same paradigm that got me there in the first place. Um, I realized that, yeah, something had to change.

And it was actually at the time when I, um, I reached out to Bob Proctor. He became my first mentor and I paid him some money to to do what I thought was business coaching at the time. Um, I think it was about the time that The Secret came out, the film The Secret. And, uh, I found this guy online. I thought, you know what, he knows what he's talking about.

And I did my research. So I spent some money and invested with him. And he gave me a couple of exercises, which really got me thinking. And then I realized at that time, I was back in a business that I didn't want to be in. I've been dragged in by some people in the industry that [00:10:00] said, Oh, look, come on, come and get involved in this and do this.

I was really unhappy. And again, it was one of these things, I thought I knew what I didn't want, I didn't really know what I did want. And, and I thought something's got to change. And so I thought, well, if I start from zero, got nothing to lose kind of thing. So Dare I say I planned it, you know, I thought about it for a while.

I got over the stigma of it because I realized that, well, you know, if you try and fail, it's better to do that than never to try sort of thing. And in fact, I didn't know a lot of money. I was just on the amount of money, which was 20 grand, believe it or not, where if I'd owed less than that, I couldn't have gone bankrupt anyway.

I'd have had to pay it back. But I paid back and I thought, you Yeah, you know what I don't there's something inside me that said I need a fresh start and I kind of was prepared for it but actually when I stood in court And they said, you know, where do you live? And at that point I was kind of a no fix debode It really did hit home But it was beautiful [00:11:00] The day after I asked my fiancee to marry me, I thought, well, at this point, if she says yes, that's got to be love, right?

Nothing. Um, and she did. And, uh, and, and yeah, I kind of made some, um, commitments to myself that not only was I never going to get in that position financially again, that I was going to really Control of, uh, understanding my wealth and not just being able to, to earn money, but also to retain it and to grow my wealth and really just become a lot more, uh, financially educated than I was previously.

Mm-Hmm, . But also that I wasn't gonna sacrifice the same things because when I look back on my life there prior to that point. I would go, you know, I'm too busy. I'm working, right? I'm working. I was up early and I found myself doing all the time and I've got six kids and five of my own, one that we foster.

And, uh, and I remember thinking, yeah, I'm just always busy. I'm always working. And I thought, well, why am I doing this? And of course what I wanted and what my ex wife wanted at the time were kind of the same [00:12:00] things, but we were on very different pages. I felt I needed to provide, I've got to do this, I've got to do this.

I realized that this was all to the detriment of the other things that were actually. Just as important, if not more important in my life. So I really took a step back and thought, right, hang on a minute. What are these things that are really important in my life and let me create this balance because yeah, never am I coming back in this court saying that's happened, that's not ever going to happen again.

Um, and also that it wasn't really that important, you know, but when you really boil it down, as I did, uh, and I came up with these six categories, which is mind, body, personal lifestyle, business, money, um, these six categories, money's at the end for a reason, because when I thought about what was really important, My mindset was probably the most important thing, right?

I needed to be a sound mind. I actually pictured myself, um, you know, with a, a goal, which was a million pounds. Well, I want to be a millionaire. Um, but I just pictured myself in a room full of money. That's it. Nobody with me. [00:13:00] No windows, just a white room. And, and I very quickly realized that that was a really silly goal to have.

So as I started to unpick that, and I thought, well, hang on a minute, what do I really want? I realized that I really wanted to be a sound mind first. And then I wanted to be a sound mind and body. And then I wanted to have people around me to share whatever it was that I had, you know, whatever experiences.

Then I wanted maybe a slightly better room, so the lifestyle came into it. Um, and then it was about professional contribution, uh, giving back, and then money came last. So I thought, well, if I tick, if I work consciously on all those other things first, um, if the money doesn't come, so what? You know, I can still be happy and content with little, um, and I live by that now.

And actually, that's exactly what happened. You know, it's, you know, as I worked through that, I realized that a lot of the things that I wanted that really made me happy, like spending time with the kids, phoning my mum on her birthday, and just being present and taking care of myself and, you know, [00:14:00] being, um, mindful.

I tried meditating in the morning. I tried meditating in the evening. That didn't work for me. So I ended up just being mindful all the time. Um, I just became a lot happier. I became a lot more content. Um, as you know, I've lost everything. So I thought, well, you know, what I've got is mine and you can't take that away from me.

And a lot of it was so much to do with just the way that I perceived things and how I reacted to things. Um, and it made me a lot calmer. Um, I eradicated the word worry, uh, from my, from my dictionary. I don't worry about anything. Right. I'm aware of these challenges as they come up and of course things don't always go to plan but I don't worry about them.

I don't allow myself to worry about them because that just creates a negative environment which I don't want. Um, and as a result of that I just found myself being a lot calmer and you know I remind myself that I'm too blessed to be stressed um even though of course Also, um, like everybody, especially when you're running a business or you're, you're juggling, um, what we do now in life [00:15:00] and work, um, it's very easy to get sucked into that and feel stressed.

And this system that I created, if you like, reminds me that, you know what, there's Other things are just as important, if not more so, and by departmentalizing it like that and categorizing it, it really allows me to focus on what I'm doing. I became a lot more, um, efficient and productive. So when I was working, I was really structured at it.

I was really focused at it. I was working for two or three hour blocks at a time, two or three times a week, a day, sorry. So that would get my eight to nine hours a day in, but I'll be doing that. A little bit in the morning, having a break, going to the gym, coming back, seeing the kids. Um, and it felt a bit anal at first because, you know, I created six calendars and six folders and six reminders and six goals and six everything, everything had to fit in the box.

Um, but once I got used to it, it became a really easy way of, of just living. And as I say now, um, [00:16:00] I don't really get too stressed about anything. I don't worry too much about anything. I've really had some challenges since. I mean, even as I was going through my bankruptcy and, uh, and we, we, we built the house that I'm, that I'm currently sitting in, um, which I was doing in my fiance's name because I couldn't get a mobile phone on contract, let alone a development finance.

You know, we had, we had a lot of challenges and, you know, we nearly lost it, but I think just having that approach, that slightly different mindset to it just kind of got me through it. Yeah. Sorry, I'm being nibbled by a tortoise, we've got a house tortoise, I just realised he's under my feet, um, yeah, so it just, it just, uh, it worked for me, you know, and as I say, anybody I've spoken to, uh, since, tends to have a bit of a takeaway from it, they, they like the way, say some people find it's a little bit too much, now the dog is barking at the tortoise by the way, look where I'm going.

You've got a real zoo

Matt Edmundson: going on there.

Neil Morecraft: Yeah, well, that's what comes when you have all these kids, you see. So dogs and guinea pigs and, you know, [00:17:00] fish didn't last very long. But the tortoise, I think, will outlive me. I think it lives up to that. Probably,

Matt Edmundson: probably. Well, listen, Neil, there's, I mean, there's so many questions I have for you at the moment.

And before we get into, I think you called it the power of six, the six categories, I want to talk about those, because obviously they've had a big impact for you.

Yeah.

Matt Edmundson: But your. I just want to circle back a little bit. Um, have you found it, uh, fostering a child? Because there's not many people, I mean, I, I mean, there's a great guy here in Liverpool, guy called Phil Watson, who, who's a real fostering champion, actually.

And he, um, he spends, he fosters kids and he, he, he in effect, um, works for the city council, helping people foster kids. Really great guy, really inspiring guy. So I'm curious, how have you found? Being a foster dad alongside, and I don't know when the, the, the, the child arrived in the, was this pre bankruptcy, was this post bankruptcy?

It was actually

Neil Morecraft: by my [00:18:00] nephew. So it's my fiancee's sister's boy. Um, she's got some mental health problems. She's, she's bipolar and her partner, um, died. So Leo's dad died when he was quite young. Um, he's got ADHD and opposition defiance disorder and some other bits and bobs. He came to us when he was, uh, 10.

11. So a few years ago, just, just as we hit COVID, which is a real tricky one. So we've just finished building the house. We just got stable. Turns out that he'd been taken away by social services and put up in a care home in Leeds. And we just no one else was stepping in. And, you know, my partner and I sort of discussed it.

And we said, look, well, his family will We're in a position, let's just take him on, you know. It has been very, very difficult, you know, mainly because he's not had the love and affection that my kids have had growing up, so he's been very defiant, um, and, and he's been quite violent, and we've had the police out lots of times, [00:19:00] and it's been a real challenge.

challenge. Um, but we're getting there, you know, right now, actually, he's away on respite. He's, um, we had an incident, shall we say, a few months ago, where the police and the social services were here. And the problem we've got with him at the moment is he's not taking any medication. And when he gets to a certain age, as he is now, if he doesn't want to take the medication, you can't force it down him.

Um, but because of that, he finds it hard to regulate his emotions. And as a result, he can get quite, um, quite violent quite quickly, particularly if he doesn't get his own way. So to be fair, it's probably been one of the toughest things I've ever done, you know, and I'm not sure, um, that I would foster again or anybody else, but equally, I wouldn't rule it out.

It's been quite rewarding. And I hope that someday, you know, we managed to make a difference. But it's, it's not, not been easy because, um, you know, Yeah, it's, uh, it's had a big impact on the other kids. I mean, three of mine are from my first marriage. One of them doesn't live with me, so my oldest daughter's now 29, [00:20:00] but my oldest son, who's 24, they live here.

As do my other two boys who are 10 and six. And then seeing him being violent, which then is very hard not to get angry. I get angry that I get angry. And I'm really generally quite calm as a result. But when you when you someone's constantly pushing your buttons, and then that's in your life, you don't want it there.

It's been a real challenge. But equally, I saw it as as an opportunity for me, you know, because I knew that, you know, Fighting fire with fire wasn't gonna work. And I had to, I had to understand what was going on with him a bit more mentally, um, in order to, um, to be able to communicate and really make a difference.

So, you know, selfishly almost, I, I, I took him on thinking, well, this is gonna do me good regardless, right? So, yeah, if I good with him as well. But, um. Yeah, it's been a real tricky one, um, but we're persevering and as I say, as he's getting older now and he's starting to figure out what he wants, [00:21:00] uh, that becomes a bit easier, but he's been out of school pretty much since we've, since he's been here.

I mean, he's been expelled for three or four schools that we put him in. Um, he's not in school at the moment and that of course then makes it even more difficult. So, um, yeah. Yeah, tricky.

Matt Edmundson: Yeah, it sounds it, but I mean, you know, well done on, on doing that, because I think that's a, that's a really hard life choice, isn't it?

But it's, I think it's, it's one of those things, and I know with Phil, the stories you hear, some of them, like yours, you know, you, you, there are challenges on the way, but what it does for those kids is unbelievable, you know, and the fact that you step in is insanely brilliant.

Neil Morecraft: Yeah, I think it, I kind of felt that it, It was going to be a little bit easier because you think, well, yeah, you give him a room and a bit of Wi Fi and the love and affection that he needs and all that, and it's all going to be great.

But it's not because there's a much, much deeper level of something going [00:22:00] on there, you know, in as much as that for the first six months he would sleep on the floor. Sometimes he'd sleep in the bathroom. You know, we bought him a bed. He had his own bedroom. We gave up one of the rooms to the kids that the two younger boys shared.

Um, but he would sleep on the floor. He'd be up all night, you know, a bit of a night. And, and, and we realized that there was just, yeah, something missing. As I say that he hadn't had this, um, I'm an affection early on and you've got to rebuild that and we were totally aware that of course once they get past a certain age some of these neural pathways already formed and you can't undo it, you've kind of got to build on top of it.

So it became, yeah, a real challenge but one that's worth it for sure.

Matt Edmundson: Yeah, no doubt. Well, that's awesome and it's an incredible thing, I think, and so the fact you guys are doing it in spite of it all, brilliant. Brilliant. So let's, um, let's hit this six, the, the power six. So just run through those again, Nia, what, what, the ones you mentioned, mind, body, personal lifestyle.

[00:23:00] What have I missed? Business money. Yeah.

Neil Morecraft: Yeah. So mind, as I say, is at the top of the list, mainly because I say, I picture myself in this room and I thought, well, if I'm not of sound mind, nothing else matters, right? If I'm not Alzheimer's or something, if I'm not of sound mind, nothing else matters. Um, and I say for a time, I thought about that as, you know, spiritual connection or oneness or whatever.

And I think it is, but it came to be this, It's always present. It's not like there's a little segment of my day where I'm mindful. It's like I'm mindful all the time. It's just this one little category that reminds me to be open and honest and aware and conscientious and kind and all those sorts of things that you'd want to be as a human being, right?

So that was that, that the sort of first thing and actually fairly easy box to tick the second box, as I say, which was the body, um, was really about personal health and fitness. Um, and I definitely had been neglecting that, you know, I mean, I was overweight. In fact, I did have an obesity warning. I was about 16 and a bit [00:24:00] stone, maybe 12 Sorry Neil,

Matt Edmundson: just um, for the sake of our international listeners, you might want to explain what 16 stone actually means for people outside the British borders.

Neil Morecraft: Oh 98 kilos. Okay. Mm-Hmm, . And I'm now 80 kilos, so, you know, if, if we work, I don't do kilos. I'm a stone guy. . , but yeah. Overweight, right? Yeah. I mean, I was, you know, 36 inch waist or 38 inch waist, you know, you know, big beer belly, just not really very healthy. Um, and I kind of kidded myself that I was all right with.

But you know, there came a point when we'd gone out on holiday and you know, you have that big shirt that you wear. That's kind of, you know, the one that you wear when you're feeling a bit fat. Well, that didn't fit me anymore. You know,

and

Neil Morecraft: you know, the missus was like, you need to lose some weight. So I was like, yeah, okay, I do.

Um, but actually when I took my health seriously and I started training regularly, I realized that I'd just been making [00:25:00] excuses all these years. Right. So I mean, I go to the gym, Four times a week now, possibly five if I can get it in. I don't train at the weekends, but I go for an hour a day. So, you know, if you divide the hour a day into all the hours are on a week, it's like a few percent of the week.

You know what I mean? Mm-Hmm. really not a lot of excuse. The only thing that was getting in the way is, oh, I'm too busy. I've got to do this. I've got to do that. But again, I, by prioritizing these things on the same level and saying this is just as important as a meeting or just as important as seeing the kids or whatever it might be and you, and you start to schedule it in, they're actually really easy to slot into the, into your diary.

So I tend to book those sessions in advance and then I work my week around that. I normally, I'm an early riser. And I normally make myself available, as I did this morning. I was on a call at 7 in Australia. So I make myself available early in the morning. I don't mind working up until 7, 8 o'clock at night, but I don't work the 12 hours in the middle.

I'll work for bits in the middle, and then when the kids come home, I'll see the kids, etc. [00:26:00] So the body bit was actually pretty easy. I committed to it, and even more so now 'cause I'm getting married in a few months or remarried in a few months and I'm going for my wedding board. So I'm really conscious now of my calories and my crows and all sorts

Matt Edmundson: of the wedding board.

I like that. I like that phrase going for the wedding board.

Neil Morecraft: Yeah. Well, you know, it's, yeah, I, I, I don't intend doing it again. That's for sure. So I want to look good and feel good on the day. And it's more about feeling good for a time. I was really conscious about my weight. I thought, you know, I've got to get from 16 stone to 15 stone to 40.

And I thought, you know what? I don't actually care how much I weigh. It's more about how I feel when I look in the mirror because I was absolutely guilty of telling myself some, some bad things, probably things I wouldn't even say to my best mate, you know? Yeah. Oh my God. And that self, um, uh, talk, it just isn't good.

So, yeah. That actually was relatively easy in as much as I, I kind of stopped drinking most of the time. I still do have a drink, but I cut out most of the alcohol. Yeah, no big deal. [00:27:00] Um, eating healthy, going to the gym a few times a week, that just made such a difference in the amount of energy that I've got.

I genuinely feel like I've got as much energy now as I did when I was in my twenties and. And I remember my twenties a good time. So I was going through, it was all good. And, and for a long time through my thirties and forties, that just gone. I don't know where it gone, but it's definitely back. And, uh, you know, I'm 53 in three weeks time or something.

And I genuinely feel like I'm, you know, in my twenties. So the body, Box was relatively quite easy. The personal bit, again, relatively simple in terms of, well, what do I want out of love and relationships? Well, you know, I want to love and I want to be loved. Um, and that means maybe just being a little bit more connected to the people around me and just making the time, To listen to these people, to talk to these people, you know, my brother's in Thailand, my parents are in Spain.

Um, yeah, just picking the phone up now and again and making a point that when it's someone's birthday, I don't message [00:28:00] them on Facebook. I pick the phone up and wish them happy birthday. And it's surprising that sometime that I'm like the only person that's wished them happy birthday to pick the phone up.

Right. Um, but of course that's easy. We just forget that. Well, actually it's just as easy to pick the phone up and have a conversation with somebody as it is to write happy birthday mate on Facebook or. We're even like someone else's birthday wish on Facebook, so yeah, so that equally became relatively easy.

And the point I'm making here is that as I started to think about what I wanted in life, right? So what are my goals within these categories? They were instantly achievable. There wasn't something I had to wait a year for. It was like, Instantly felt better because I was doing it straight away. And that then sort of has this compound effect where all of a sudden you just feel like you, you know, the things are going in the right way.

And I think, you know, the law of attraction, the more you do, the more you get and all that kind of stuff. So it really did make a difference. The lifestyle box was a, was a tricky one because I do, [00:29:00] I I'm very happy with my lifestyle, but I want a better lifestyle, right? I don't want to, okay. Um, but I like things, right?

And, and I've been guilty, I guess, in the past of probably spending money that I don't have. That's probably a true, true to say, uh, maybe, maybe a weakness. Um, but I like experience, right? So it's not about being ostentatious or flash. It's like, well, if I go out, I want to go out and not worry about the fact that it's costing me X amount of money.

I don't want to think about the monetary side of it if I'm going on holiday or whatever. Um, yeah. But, um, it, it taught me to cut my cloth and be grateful for what I've got, because as I say, at the point where I went bankrupt, I had absolutely nothing, and I was absolutely grateful for a warm shower and a roof over my head, even though it wasn't my roof and my shower, you know what I mean?

Um, so that really grounded me. And, uh, and as I say, I'm moving forward, and I just became a lot more appreciative of the things that, that do surround you in life. So, but I do have aspirations to, to have a forever [00:30:00] home. That's on my goal, on my list, you know? But that's something that I'll work towards and, and it's not the be all and end all.

I don't doubt in fact that it will come, maybe I should be a little bit more definitive with the timeline. I'm probably not that bothered about it, truth be told, it's one of these things a bit, well yeah, be nice actually, but the house we live in is Perfectly had a good and fine and I'm happy. So, you know, maybe there's a part of me that doesn't really want that.

And, and that's absolutely a reason I wouldn't get it, by the way. Um, when it came to business, which was, I say coming down to the, the crux of it, that was really about professional contribution. I didn't wanna. I didn't want to do something that would make me unhappy. I certainly didn't want to work for money, so I stopped working for money altogether.

And I started to think, well, hang on a minute, what, what really satisfies me? What, what gives me fulfillment in what I do? And I've always done the same thing, there or thereabouts, right? For the last 20 or 30 years, I've been in the same sort of business, but there has been times when I've been doing it for the wrong reasons.

And ultimately though, they've failed [00:31:00] because that's not the right thing to do, right? If you go into it for the wrong reason, it's The universe is gonna interfere at some point and say, no, no, that's not how it works. Um, so I started becoming a lot more conscious of actually what really, um, got me outta bed in the morning, what did infuses me, and, and started to just realign my business with more of that.

So I just felt good about it, you know? So I started, you know, stuff that I'd been charging for. I started giving away. Um, almost to a point where it was, I was doing too much of it. I was giving too much away because I had this bad association with money. I definitely had a bad relationship that because I'd experienced success and then lost it.

Um, I had this kind of notion that it was the root of all evil, you know, and there was a part of me that didn't want that again because I associated it with, with the failure that either came. Yeah, I got over that. Um, and I certainly don't have a bad relationship with it now. But from a business perspective, that actually made it really easy for me to come up with my value proposition, as it were, you know, helping [00:32:00] people get started in business and then showing them how to use the tech to build a bit of a better business online.

And then everything I did and everything I do fits into that box or don't do it. And it made it really easy for me to turn down things because say previous to this, when I had an opportunity and says, Oh, you know, can't get involved in this. Well, I knew I could do it. But I didn't really want to do it.

There was a carrot of money or equity, whatever it might be, so I felt, I found myself getting lured into that. Whereas now, just having that different attitude towards it allows me to say, no, that that doesn't fit with what I want and what I'm about. So therefore the answer is no, I can help you in another way maybe, but that's, I'm not going to give my time to that because that's not in line with what I'm all about.

So it actually made it really easy for me to differentiate and I've definitely been going wrong over the years there. Um, and then the money box, as I say, you know, I, I am a believer that ultimately these things do slot into place. Um, and I definitely had some luck along the way in the money box, having gone bankrupt.[00:33:00]

Um, one of which is I found half a million quid at a pension that I'd forgotten all about and I had no idea. Yeah, and I'm being honest, I mean, I'm sitting in my garden and I'd gone on to one of these pension apps, Pension B it was, a few years ago. I'd come out of my bankruptcy, I'd been, uh, discharged, and I thought, well, I knew I had a pension years ago, and I knew I had another pension, and another one, and I just thought, well, I'll just amalgamate them and see what I've got, and there was 20 grand here, and 30 grand there, I thought, well, that's about right, um, and then all of a sudden, I got a, a mail saying, oh, because your value is more than 30, it was like 538, 000 in a pension that I'd forgot about, I'm like, Well, I'll take that luck.

Thank you. I love that. Yeah. And, and when I think back, it was, you know, it was at a time when I was, um, young and, and successful, I guess, in sales, working in corporate land. But I remember someone saying to me at the time, you know, you're earning a fair bit of money, you should put some money into these voluntary contributions, right, because putting into pension I thought, okay, you know, [00:34:00] there were months I was earning 20 grand, 30 grand a month, you know, this is 20, 30 years ago, I

didn't have

Neil Morecraft: anything to do with it, so I was like, well, okay, yeah, if you tell me that's a good thing to do, I'll do it.

I didn't really pay much attention to it because I didn't miss it, right? It was coming out of the source, I forgot about it. Well, I did that for seven years, and of course, that seven years ultimately stacked up into this half a million quid, which I totally forgot about, which I then found, which I was like, Okay, I'll take that, you know, because that absolutely helped me get to that net goal of me, my, my net worth back again, albeit not in the way that I thought, right.

Um, and I started to realize at that point that I didn't really need to know how I was going to achieve what I wanted to achieve. It was more about why I wanted to achieve it. And I had to let go of that how because for years I've been thinking, right, I'm going to do it like this, you know, write it down a bit better.

Paper and course that didn't happen, and then I get despondent and then I'll try some more and I get more despondent. And I started to realize that, well, maybe that's not the way, right. Maybe that's not the way I'm meant to do it. So letting go of that how to do it, [00:35:00] um, was a big lesson for me. But as I let go of that, again, things just got easier because it's like, well, I know what I want.

I know why I want it. I know when I want it. And I'm just going to put faith over into the universe or the ether or call it what you like, that ultimately things will pan out and know why I want to do it and that and have that real emotional attachment as to why do I want it, right? Um, safe in the knowledge ultimately it will figure itself out.

And so far. Things Absolutely have started to, to do that more and more and more. Uh, and I'm absolutely believer in that. So, uh, yeah. And then, and to say part of that was really understanding that yeah, earning money. I realized I never made money. You know, there's plenty of money. There's an abundance of money.

I never made any of it. I earned it. Um, and ultimately that I earned more by serving more people. So I switched selling into serving. So instead of trying to sell to someone, I would serve that person. Um, and the more I served, the more I would earn, you know, um, and it just became a lot more educated as to right [00:36:00] now I've got a bit of money and I'm absolutely not going to lose it again.

How do I protect that money? Yeah. You know, how do I, how do I set up these vehicles and my pension was another good, really good ironer as to, well, that was actually pretty easy. I didn't need to. And the vehicle, I just needed to put the money into the pot and forget about it. And of course, there are lots of those investment vehicles out there, whether that's pensions or bonds or, you know, property or whatever it is, right?

But you don't need to, to know about them. You just have to have that disposable income and say, well, I've got a bit of money there. I'm going to put it in that pot, right? Yeah. And I'm starting to do more and more of that. And that's still a massive part of where I'm at, because when I look at it, I actually think it was probably easier for me to make the money that I'm making, enjoying what I'm doing, and then have that money make more money.

Than it is for me to go and create a company and exit, uh, X amount of millions because I actually don't want a company again. Right. Yeah. I mean, I've got a business, the only people I employ in my business are my kids. So two of my kids [00:37:00] are in, in that business, and I think the third one's just about to come in.

Um, and outside of that, they, they're freelancers in the gig economy. Yeah. And I don't have an office. I don't want an office. I don't want lots of people. I don't wanna. I'm not a coder. I'm not going to create the next bit of, you know, whiz bang software. Um, so that fits in nicely with what I'm doing. I'm content with that, you know, and happy with that.

And it works well. It's all good. Yeah.

Matt Edmundson: That's really fascinating and I'm listening to you Neil with, with avid interest talking about, you know, these sort of these six areas which is, this has obviously come out of your personal experience. These are obviously very real for you. This is not just something you read on a fridge magnet somewhere, right?

No, totally. And um, it's obviously very Very personal. Uh, yeah. And the, obviously the dog's getting involved. And at the start you said, you know, you were asking, someone asked you the question, what do you want? Yeah. And you, you didn't know how to answer that. You knew what you didn't want. Yeah. It was easy.

It's funny how that's easier to [00:38:00] verbalize, isn't it? I know what I dont want, but I'm not quite sure what it is, what I, I do want. Yeah. Um, and then you said, uh, that. You know, you want, later on, you said that you wanted to love and to be loved. So it sounds like there's this, this sort of real journey then that you've gone on through the bankruptcy, um, through all these things happening, which is, sorry, which is no, no, where is it?

Hello? It's all right.

Neil Morecraft: I don't mean to disturb. It's just my, it's my VRP list as our theater. He knows, he knows what it's about.

Matt Edmundson: You know what, my wife's on mine as well, so if she rang, my phone would ring even though it's in Do Not Disturb. And that's a good sign, Neil. That's a very good sign that she's on that list.

But it sounds like one hell of a journey, man, I think is what I was going to say there.

Neil Morecraft: Yeah, it has. And you know what, I wouldn't change it. I mean, I feel like I've lived at least a couple of lives, you know what I mean? So, I got married. I met my first [00:39:00] wife when I was very young. You know, she was 16, I was 17.

You know, we fell in love. Yeah, we had a few kids. We lasted 15, 16 years. Um, and I thought that was it. And then, and then I got asked this question, what, you know, what do I want? And I didn't know, but I realized that actually the things around me at It's not what I wanted. Um, and it changed the entire course of my life.

And as much as I realized I'd fallen out of love with my wife and, um, I owed it to her to tell her that. And I told her that, and it didn't go down very well. And we split up, and then I lost my business. And dare I say it on camera, she became an alcoholic and didn't last very long and died, you know, several years later.

And that was pretty tough, right? So I'm thinking, Oh, that's not the plan at all, right? And a massive amount of guilt. But of course, that was her journey. This was my journey. Would I do it any different? Well, of course, I wouldn't. I'd still want it to be on the planet, but I wouldn't change anything. It was real and it was true.

And that was it. But when I look [00:40:00] back, Yeah, I wasn't a very nice person in that marriage. You know, there was a point where I was, you know, cheating on my wife and, you know, I was enjoying the success and I was a young guy and I just wasn't very nice. If I'd seen me today, I wouldn't have given me the time of day.

But it was going through that. And I do believe that as people we go through these phases, it's not necessarily an age thing. It's just a thing, right? We just mature and we go through it. So yeah. I don't judge anybody by that, but I remember thinking, I don't, I don't want this life, you know, it was, it was horrible from the outside in, people say, oh, you know, you're great, and you've got a company, you're driving a nice car, and you've got a bit of money.

No, it was horrible, horrible, horrible. Um, so yeah, facing up to that and, and then really digging deep, say, well, how can I become a better person for it? Um, was the bit, it was a journey that just had to go on, because the alternative was, All of the stuff that I didn't want, right? So I've got this life that I don't want, unless I make a change, I'm going to carry on with the [00:41:00] same thing, right?

So I didn't really, I kind of thought it'd be a lot easier. I thought in my head, well, I've got this, this and this ticked. I'll, I'll do this and I'll go over here and it'll all be great. And it wasn't. And it took me years, years of like horrible slog and hard work just going around and trying to figure it out.

But what I did figure out after about four or five years is that I would fail quicker and I'd get over it quicker. So, you know, when my second or third business started and failed, it took me a year or something. Oh my God, boohoo, poor me, you know, all this work, all this effort. And then, And then I got over it, and then the next one, and then, you know, failure again, and then, and now, you know, now, Bo, sorry, listeners, um, now, and then it got to a point where I just recognised that that was just temporary setback, and it wasn't a bad thing, I just needed to learn from it, um, sorry, he's barking at the tortoise, because the tortoise is under there, my foot, um, so, as I say, it just, it, it taught me a [00:42:00] lot, you know, and, and as I, Change any of that.

And, but it, but it did take a while. It took a lot longer than I thought. Yeah. And real soul searching. I mean, there were times when I was sat in my basement just crying, basically. Yeah. Thinking, oh God, how has my life come to this? Right. So not that long ago, I had all of this and it was great and you know, this one little thing wasn't quite right.

But because I wanted it all, I felt, you know, I deserved it. And I think we do all deserve whatever we want. And I do think you can have it all. I know there's some people say you can't, but I do think we can have it all as long as you know what that is. Um, and that's basically what it boils down to. And that's a really tough question.

And I, and this is what I've been saying to my kids for years, and I'll keep saying to them, figure that out, figure out what you really want to do. And then everything else will slide into place, because if you don't, no one's going to come along and figure it out for you, and it doesn't get easier with age, right?

So, that's very true. When you're 25, if you still don't know the answer, it's going to get harder, because we create these [00:43:00] paradigms that then, Subconsciously say, well, I can't leave my job because I've got to pay my rent, or I can't do that. You can. And I've done that many a time gone. No, just that's it.

It's not what I want. I don't care what the consequences are. I've got to be brave enough to have the courage of my conviction and go through with it. Even though everyone around me is going, What are you doing? Neil? Hello? No, don't do that. You know, go and go and get a job. I can't do it. It's not in me.

I've got to, I've got to be true to myself, right? If I've got to at least be honest with that. So that was the toughest part. But that's been the most rewarding part of it. Yeah. As I've come out of that, and I am now, I feel really lucky. Uh, and blessed genuinely to have the lifestyle that I've got and the kids and the family and be able to sort of pit moan hours and work with the people that I want to work with and feel really fulfilled in what I do and not really ever thinking about retiring.

It's not like I think, well, you know, I mean, I could draw me pension in a couple of years, right? [00:44:00] Um, but I don't want to, I don't want to carry on giving back and that's not the way I So, yeah, it's been a worthwhile journey. Yeah, it

Matt Edmundson: sounds like it, man. It sounds like an epic, and it's interesting how you use phrases like, uh, you had to be honest with yourself, you know, and, and, um, and I, I find in life that you, you, you, there is a journey.

There are ups and there are downs, and the people that are brutally honest with themselves tend to be the ones that come out stronger and better. Um, and it, it, it, it, it, I don't know, it's just one of those, I'm not a psychologist now, I don't claim to be, but it's, um, I would

Neil Morecraft: agree, I think fear holds a lot of people back, you know, when I talk to people about, because I do work with different people in different stages, right, I like to help anybody that wants to help themselves, right, so if they're a business owner, they're already doing what they want to do better, and I can show them how to do that through technology, which is brilliant, Pretty much what I do as a consultant, and of course I wanna help them, but I get a lot of people say, well, I'm kind of thinking about starting my own thing.

And I say, well, why? And they go, well, I hate my job. I'm like, well, there's a reason right there, right? [00:45:00] Mm-Hmm, . So if you hate your job, right, that should be enough. And they go, well, yeah, I can't, I can't do this 'cause of that. I'm like, well, you can, but you gotta have the courage to do it. And they say, well, no, no, I can't.

'cause if I leave my job, I can't pay my rent. But I, I know I've been there. You can pay your rent, you'll pay it in another way. And unless you open the door to that new opportunity, then maybe that new opportunity is never going to present itself. So choices are yours. You either say, well, I'm too scared and I'm going to stick with the, you know, the, the lifestyle that I've got, even though I hate it, or I'm going to be bold enough and brave enough to do it.

And of course, some people do it and then they, they fail quickly. And then they go, you know, what isn't for me. And that's fine. If, if, If you're comfortable with whatever you, whatever lifestyle you've created, that's you, that's totally fine. I'm not suggesting that being an entrepreneur or being an entrepreneur is for everybody.

It's not. Some people like the, the, the secret, I'll say the comfort factor. It really isn't the comfort factor. Um, but they like that sense of security, right? And it's the world we live in. So if that's right for you, [00:46:00] great. But if you've got something in you that says, you know what, I just want to be more, I want to do more, Then absolutely go and do it, as simple as that, stop planning, get on with it, you know.

Matt Edmundson: And the responsibility is on you to do that, uh, like you say, not on the white night. Listen, uh, Neil, let's, um, I'm aware of time is rapidly creeping up on us. So I do want to do the question box, which is, you know, my state of the art graphics here, the question box. So, um, you're going to say stop as I flip through these questions and we're just going to pick out a random question.

I'm curious, right there, okay. Okay. Okay. Have you and your partner or friends ever argued about taste? Taste?

Neil Morecraft: A taste as in like taste of, um, you know, like tasting things or taste as in food taste? Tasting things, I'm guessing.

Matt Edmundson: I'm, I'm, I'm assuming tasting [00:47:00] things, Neil. Like it's not, it's not a totally, it's not the best question, but it's an interesting question.

Neil Morecraft: Um, no, I don't think we've argued about it. I mean, we, we are, We are, we have different tastes for sure. Um, but, but I'm, I'm quite open to different things in as much as I like lots of different genre music, but I don't hate any particular music just because it's not the type of music that someone else likes.

Um, and I accept that of course we live in a world where lots of people opinions and, and what makes us different is the fact that we are all different. Right? Um, so no, I don't think we've argued about it. We talk about it a lot. And, and, I'd like to get my little influence in, but she absolutely gets her influence in.

And I think the balance is

Matt Edmundson: harmony. Don't you find that's the, that's the harmony, that's a great word. That's the beauty of relationships, isn't it? Cause my wife and I have very different taste, uh, on, on a whole raft of things. Um, but the beauty. For me in marriage, we've been married 25 years this year and part of the beauty in that is actually coming together and finding out what works for both, right?

And sometimes that's a [00:48:00] quick, quick thing. Sometimes it takes a few years, but you've, you know, I, I like you. I don't know if we've ever argued about taste. Um, I think that there are things that I've definitely not done or we've not done because we've not found agreement in taste is probably a good way to put it.

Yeah,

Neil Morecraft: and I think that's probably right, because I think, you know, it is a partnership, right? You are in it together. And yeah, you know, if we both like the same things, I guess it'd be pretty boring anyway. But, um, yeah, like you say, I think, you know, thrashing that, because sometimes you will absolutely convince me, I guess, maybe that I like something where I thought, no, I don't.

Even as I look at the kitchen. This is not the kitchen that I would chose, but I love it. Um, and she was absolutely adamant. This is the kitchen we were going to have. So there was never going to be another kitchen.

Matt Edmundson: Yeah. I, I, I felt like I couldn't get involved in that one, but yeah.

Yeah.

Matt Edmundson: Listen, now the conversation has been awesome, man.

I've got lots of notes. I loved your, your six [00:49:00] categories there and lots, lots to take away, lots to think about, and if people want to reach out to you, if people want to connect with you, what is the best way to do that, sir?

Neil Morecraft: So, I mean, thankfully, I'm the only Neil Moorcraft in the world that I know of. So, if you Google Neil Moorcraft, you're going to find the first page of me.

Um, there are, but you have to spell my name right. So, I'm M O R E C R A F T. If you Google me, you'll find me. Um, I'm, I'm quite active on LinkedIn. So, that's the easiest thing to do, reach out to me on LinkedIn. Of course, you can go to neilmoorcraft. com and there are a number of different ways there that you can engage with me.

Whether that's, you know, someone starting in business, whether growing business, etc. So, I've got different ways of dealing with different people. But yeah, either direct to my website, there's a little quiz there you can take, which will tell you whether or not I'm a good fit for whatever it is you're doing.

And if not, you can reach out to me on LinkedIn.

Matt Edmundson: Fantastic. Listen, Neil, it's been an absolute treat, man. Really appreciate you coming on to the show. Thank you so much for all that you've sort of shared. It's been brilliant. And of course. We will [00:50:00] link to Neil's info in the show notes as well. So if you're signed up to the newsletter or if you're on the website, you will find all of those links in today's show notes.

So a big thanks again to Neil. What a great Conversation. Uh, I really enjoyed that. I genuinely did. Got lots of notes. Uh, so, and also a big shout out to today's show sponsor, Aurion Media. If you're wondering if podcasting is a good marketing strategy for your business, do connect with them at aurionmedia.

com. That's A U R I O N media. com. And of course, you'll find the link on the Push To Be More. com website as well. Now be sure to follow the Push To Be More podcast, wherever you get your podcasts from, because we've got yet more great conversations lined up, just like today's. And I don't want you to miss any of them.

And in case no one has told you yet today, you are awesome. Awesome. Yes, you are created. Awesome. It's just a burden. You have to bear it. Neil has to bear it. I have to bear it. You've gotta bear it as well. Now [00:51:00] that's it from me. That's it from Neil. Thank you so much for joining us. Have a fantastic week wherever you are.

Yeah, absolutely. We'll see you next time. Bye for now.