Navigating Life’s Challenges: A Story of Resilience and Growth | Danielle Cobo

Danielle: [00:00:00] And a lot of times we view help as a weakness. Oh, we are weak if we ask for help. But what would it look like if we shifted our approach on what help is? Because studies show that when we help somebody, we get a boost of dopamine. We, which is the happy, it's a happiness, uh, chemical within our brain.

We are, it is very fulfilling to help other people. So what would it look like if we shifted our mindset and said, by asking for help, we're not burdening somebody. We're giving them an opportunity to experience joy, happiness, and connection

Matt: Well, hello there and welcome to Push To Be More. I'm your host, Matt Edmundson, and this is a podcast where we get to deep dive, uh, do another exploration of what it really means to live this journey called life. And joining me today, I have... They're [00:01:00] amazing. Fellow podcaster, Danielle Cobo, uh, and we're going to be diving into Danielle's own story.

That's right. She is sat on the other side of the microphone today. We are going to be, uh, talking about the hurdles that she's had to push through, the way she recharges her batteries and what steps she is taking. To grow and be more. Oh, yeah, we're gonna get into all of that now before we do let's not forget You can find all the detailed show notes and complete transcript of our conversation on the website push to be more dot com and whilst you're there if you haven't done so already, you know the score sign up to the newsletter because each week We'll zip you all of the insights links and goodies direct to your inbox totally for free Which is amazing.

Now, this episode is brought to you by aurion Media, the master architects of podcasting. Oh, yes. Uh, you see, here at aurion Media, we don't just make podcasts, we help you, uh, start something really special. We help you build a community and make [00:02:00] meaningful connections. Stuff, really. That we should all be doing anyway in business.

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Podcasting isn't always smooth selling. Oh no. Setting up, dealing with tech issues, rebranding, uh, Danielle is laughing, uh, figuring out distribution, strategizing. These can all be tough, but what if you could focus on what you love, connecting with your audience and leave the rest to the experts? Well, that's where.

aurion Media comes into play. They're not just a company, they're your partners, your guides in this podcasting journey. From conception to growth, they're with you every step of the way, turning you from a podcasting novice into a podcasting genius. Oh yes. Now, [00:03:00] curious how to do all this? aurionmedia. com.

That's A U R I O N media dot com. That is enough about the show sponsor, let's talk about Danielle, Danielle Cobo, the globe trotting speaker and resilience guru who knows a thing or two about thriving in a fast paced world with over 15 years in the medical sales arena. Not only did she lead her team to be the nation's number one in sales amidst insane corporate chaos, but she's also the voice behind the hit Unstoppable Grit.

Podcast and the brains behind the book of the same name. Oh, and did we mention she's also a four time national sales excellent awardee. So talk about unstoppable. Danielle, welcome to the show. Great to have you. How are we feeling today? Being on the other side?

Danielle: I am [00:04:00] feeling great. It is nice to be on the other side because as you were sharing those details of what it's like to produce a podcast, it is a lot of work, so it's nice to just show up and be a guest.

Matt: Yeah, it's funny, isn't it? I, I do a lot of podcasting. I'm, I obviously host my own shows, different shows, as we were talking about, uh, but I get to guest on a lot of podcasts as well. And it's always a very different experience, isn't it, when you're not in the driving seat.

Danielle: It very much so is. It's to be, it's kind of anticipation of what are they going to ask me, versus when you're a host, you go in, kind of have an idea, you do the research on the guest, you look at their bio, you maybe watch some videos or listen to episodes, and then you come up with the questions. But as a guest, you're anticipating, what are they going to ask?

But also it's really nice because I don't have to do the back end of any of the production. So I'm very happy this morning, uh, as I've got a couple episodes I've got to produce.

Matt: Yeah, absolutely. It's nice, isn't it? You just turn up and smile and talk, [00:05:00] and it's, uh, I, I, I like both sides of the microphone, I'm not gonna lie. Uh, but to be fair, it's just as easy from this side, as I was saying, you know, the, uh, we have the team, Aurea Media, they just do all the production, which is a wonderful thing.

I just get and sit and chat to people all day. It's,

it's not a difficult job, is it really? Um, so tell me about Unstoppable Grit. Let's talk about your podcast.

Danielle: So, my podcast Unstoppable Grit is interviews different guests who have overcome adversity and difficult challenges within their life, trials and tribulations, and they share the steps that they took to overcome those challenges and how they developed grit, and particularly the mindset shifts, the strategies, uh, and, and they share a practical advice with listeners on how they can develop grit.

Because We're all going to experience hardships in our lives,

Matt: hmm.

Danielle: emotionally, physically, financially, and it's always good to hear that somebody else has been there who has done [00:06:00] that and can hear some advice on how they got through it. I love hearing people's stories, and so that's what inspired the podcast.

Matt: I was going to say, it's quite an interesting podcast to start. I mean, what, what, it's three years old now, isn't it, your show from memory? Um, what, what was the catalyst? What, what made you go, I want to do a podcast about resilience? Mm

Danielle: Originally started, I was in a corporate environment. I, I had a six month period of my life where my life completely flipped upside down. And it was in January of 2020. My husband had just returned home from serving a year deployment in Iraq. Then in March, I lost my mom. My mom had passed away. And then as I'm planning her celebration of life, the pandemic shut the world down,

Matt: hmm,

Danielle: and then I was in a very, our company had been acquired, it created a very, very toxic [00:07:00] culture, and it was a six month period where my life just completely flipped upside down, and I had tied so much of my identity to sales awards, to job titles, to income earning, and when I left the company that I was with, I felt lost, and I didn't know Who I was anymore, what I, what I wanted.

You know, as you get the question, as a child, what do you wanna be when you grow up? What do you wanna do when you grow up? I just didn't know what that next chapter of my life was gonna be. And it took a lot of soul searching, some reflection, some self-discovery, and it actually took me applying to a couple jobs.

And while mentoring other people on the side. So while I was looking for a job, I was mentoring people on how to get a job because I was a hiring manager. So I knew what hiring managers were looking for. I knew what to, to look. And so when I, finally one day a recruiter had told me, Danielle, I have a position for you.

[00:08:00] I know you'd be great for it. It's VP of sales, but I can see your passion behind what you're doing of mentoring and this is a calling for you and I really believe that you should set out and do your own thing. And I said, okay, I, I'm going to do this. And I started doing career coaching and it sparked into, I'm going to start a podcast called Dream Job with Danielle Cobo.

And it, and it's taken a lot of, um, it's evolved a lot over the years. At first it was a, a podcast that I was really honing in and supporting women in the workforce. And then I had a lot of guys tuning in and they were saying, I really, I know it's for women, but I really enjoy your podcast. So then I started opening up and have more male guests.

And then as I started to write my book, Unstoppable Grit, I said this is really, this is really the stories that I want to tell. I want to, I want to share stories of people who are high achieving professionals who have gone through trials and tribulations in their [00:09:00] life and want to share their story and empower and inspire and motivate other people on how they can, how they can achieve the same success and really define success on their own terms because we all have a new, uh, our own definition of success.

Matt: hmm, mm hmm. Wow, well, I've got a lot of notes. There's a lot to get into, uh, on that. So before we do that, let's, let's start with, uh, you know, you have a podcast, Unstoppable Grit. Who's a guest, um, Matt, maybe they've been on the show, maybe they haven't, that's had a big influence on your life that you'd, you know, past or present, uh, that you'd really love to talk to or have talked to on the show?

Danielle: Okay, so past, if it could be anybody. I am a woman of faith, so I would love to interview Jesus.

Matt: Okay.

Danielle: That would, that would definitely be somebody I want to interview because I've got a lot of questions. A lot of questions, like many, but I'm a believer. And then next to that would be I, I think Oprah's [00:10:00] story is fascinating. Her story of just being raised completely with nothing and had, has built this empire, but she's built an empire with the sole purpose of helping others. So she's very mission driven, purpose driven focused. And I love to hear those types of stories of people who are not only successful, but they're, they're having this success because they're out in servitude towards others.

Matt: Yeah, well, two great answers. Jesus is becoming quite popular, actually. A lot of people like to talk to Jesus. I mean, you say you're a woman of faith and it's, um, we know that Jesus was a historical figure. Um, and it's one of those where even if you're not a person of faith, I imagine he'd still be quite an interesting chap to talk to because, um, either he was a, what is he?

I'm trying to remember. [00:11:00] What

C. S. Lewis said about Jesus. No, C. S. Lewis, the guy that wrote the Chronicles of Narnia, he made this comment about Christ, didn't he, that either he was who he said he was, or the man was a complete lunatic. Um, what he wasn't was a really nice guy, because some of the claims that he made and some of the things that he did, not a nice person, uh, you know, just a really nice sort of holy character guy over here.

Um, and I thought, I, I, he's one of those figures from history where you go, I would just love to talk to him. I just, I genuinely would love to find out what actually he said, um, and what, what actually happened and, you know, uh, really fascinating. And then Oprah, Oprah is again, quite a popular answer. Uh, I've heard Oprah's name mentioned a couple of times, obviously she's in the media, she's in the press a lot.

Um, and, uh, I, I would love to talk to her. I would love to find out, you know, um, all kinds of things like. How it all got started and [00:12:00] why and, and, and what she thinks about various things now and how that's changed over time and so on and so forth. So two great answers there. Um, if I can ask, and I appreciate it, I'm going to get into trouble asking this question, Danielle.

Uh, who have been some of the guests from your show talking about resilience? Because obviously... You've rebranded, okay, to go alongside your book. So what started out as Dream Jobs with Danielle has now become Unstoppable Grit. And you very much are focusing on stories about, you know, where you've had to overcome, where you've had the challenges, the trials, the tribulations.

Who have been some of the guests that you, some of the, what are some of the stories better is, that really stand out to you from your show?

Danielle: One of the most memorable guests on my show, but it was because of a personal connection, was Heather Monahan, so when I left, when I left the company that I was with, I said, okay, I'm going to go on LinkedIn, which at that time I thought LinkedIn is where you look for a job. What [00:13:00] I've learned over time is LinkedIn is much more than looking for a job.

It is a place to share your knowledge. For those that are listening, if they're a high level executive, if they're in a leadership role, LinkedIn is a way to serve others by sharing your knowledge. Um, I love going on LinkedIn and getting motivation, inspiration, and learning. But when I went on there, there was Heather Monaghan's posts kept on popping up and they just found them.

Her, her content fascinating, but one post stood out the most and it was her story of when she got fired. She had been with the company for 17 years. She was a, a high level executive within the organization that she was with, a media company, and she had flat out said, I got fired. And she told her story of how she got fired and how she reinvented herself and became a bestselling author and a keynote speaker and I started to follow her content and I was, was like, here is this [00:14:00] woman who has. Spent such a successful career in corporate and has created this new life for herself. And it really was the inspiration as to me leaving corporate and starting my own journey. And I remember the moment that I had, she was launching a new book, Overcome Your Villains, and I had reached out to her before and I said, I want you to be on my podcast, but I didn't have.

It took some time. Her inbox gets flooded. I now understand that having a big community on LinkedIn, but I reached out to her again I said, hey, I know you've got this book, Overcome Your Villains. This is the audience. It's Professionals that are listening into my podcast. I believe that your story will really resonate with them And I remember the day that she said yes, and she was a guest of my podcast and it was that full circle loop of of me feeling like, wow, I actually have kind of reached this point where the person that, and she had no idea that this meant so much to me, but it was that full circle of, I [00:15:00] saw your post pop up on LinkedIn time and time again, and now you're a guest on my, on my podcast.

And she shared her story, and I read her book, and I think that was probably one of the most memorable guests.

Matt: hmm. Fantastic. This is one of the things that I love, um, about podcasting Danielle is the fact that, um, you can use it. It's a great excuse to contact people and just say, Hey, come on my show. Right, um, it's such a good, it's probably one of the most powerful underrated things I think about podcasting is it gives you the ability to say to somebody, would love to chat.

Uh, and my general observation is when you chat to somebody on a podcast like we're doing, if you think about how we've been chatting for 15 minutes, apparently 15 minutes, and already we've. Covered some quite interesting things, right? So we know that you're a woman of faith, you'd love to talk to Oprah, uh, you've gone through six months, some really interesting stuff, which we're going to get into.

You know, your husband was stationed in the army. We know your mom passed [00:16:00] away, 15 minutes and we figured out all of this already. I always say to people, if we were down at the pub and we just caught up or we're on a train, you know, chatting or sat next to each other on a plane, you don't get to this sort of stuff in 15 minutes.

Not like that. And so, uh, podcasting opens doors and the depth of conversation is unbelievable. Uh, and so, yeah, it's, it's good to see actually, uh, I will check out the Helen Monaghan, uh, episode, uh, and listen into that. So. Let's rewind then, um, to before COVID, your husband comes back, your mom's passed away.

So you, you yourself are having to go through something here. Um, some, some sort of big tests and big trials. What, uh, if I can turn the tables, uh, given that you ask about mindset shifts, what sort of mindset shifts did you have to have? I mean, what's, what, what was some of the things that, you know, came and smacked you in the face and you're kind of like, goodness, I need to deal with this.

Mm [00:17:00] hmm.

Danielle: the biggest one was, was really, uh, looking at, I think with the pandemic, a lot of us were put in a situation we were at home and it gave us an opportunity to take a pause for a second and be steady. Uh, as a society, we are, uh, and I know me, myself, I am very much go, go, go, go, go. I'm a high achiever, just want to go after what my, what I want.

I've always been that way, kind of type A. And, and so when it was taking a step back and, and taking some time to pause and really sit down and going, am I happy? Am I happy where I, where I'm at? Because I just spent a year with my husband deployed for an entire year. I had two year old twins while he was deployed,

Matt: Oh, wow.

Danielle: had more energy than a squirrel on a triple expresso, these two. [00:18:00] mean, it, it, in the evening, it gets to the point where I'm building obstacle courses in my house just to burn out the remaining energy in these two.

Matt: Sorry, I shouldn't laugh, but I fully

Danielle: It's okay,

Matt: you're going through. Yeah, yeah.

Danielle: I embrace it. So in addition, I was leading a team for a Fortune 500 company, and I was on the road every single week. And when my husband came back, and here he had just been deployed for a year, we're at a point where we're shut down, and I'm not on the road, and I'm looking at my suitcase that I'm normally packing every single week and going, is this the life that I want?

Matt: Mm hmm.

Danielle: Is this really what I want? And in the changes that were going on in the organization were not aligning with the values that I have and, and so I, taking some time to step away and I think the biggest mindset shifts was identifying what do I really want? And what that was is I took, uh, wrote down a piece of paper and I wrote a line down the center and on [00:19:00] one side I said, what do I love about my job?

And what do I dislike about my job? And then I took it a step further and I, and I did that with my previous jobs. What do I love and what do I dislike? And kind of took that and molded it into, that was one step. And then the second step was I reached out to, I posted something on Facebook and I said if I've impacted, if there was three words you would use to describe me, what would it be?

And people started flooding in with comments what it would be. And so I started to see myself in a light that I had never seen myself before. People started to say motivating, inspiring, empowering, resilient, grit. They started to use all these words and I started to look at Then they started to add comments.

You've helped me with my career. You've helped me achieve these goals. And so I started to say, well, this is what I love about my job. This is what I don't love, and this is what people see as strengths of mine. Can I take all this and create something that I, that I [00:20:00] want to do moving forward? And that's really what inspired me to also start in this journey.

And. It's been three years since I left corporate and have a podcast with over 130 episodes, have a book coming out, built a successful business, speaker, it's been an incredible journey.

Matt: Yeah. I mean, it, it sounds like it, which is, is, is fascinating. And I'm, the, the thing that, the thing that stands out from that story. Danielle, I mean, apart from the fact your husband was away for a year, which I, I, if you don't, I'd like to ask a few questions about that. But, um, was the feedback, asking people that knew you, uh, outside of corporate life, you know, people that really know you, what they thought, and one of the most interesting experiments Should I call it an experiment?

I don't know. Uh, one of the most interesting things I did, um, a few years ago was I did exactly the same thing. I [00:21:00] contacted people, um, from different walks of life, but people who knew me. So some from corporate, some from church, some from, um, you know, parents at the same school. People that I'd do sports with, whatever, and I'd, I sent them a list of like 15, 20 questions that I asked them to, just to answer, and they, the rules were they didn't have to answer all of them, um, if they didn't want to, but they did have to be brutally honest.

Um, and it was both very edifying, uh, because they saw stuff in me that I didn't see in myself, uh, which was really interesting. Um, but they also, um, they... I gave them an invitation to be, to be really straight, uh, and to be really honest, um, and such is the culture in which we live. I think people are a little bit, um, reluctant to be totally straight and totally honest with you, unless you ask for that, for them to do that.

And so giving them permission to do that was [00:22:00] just, uh, let's just use the word humbling.

Danielle: I have been through a 360 review and I completely can relate to the humbling experience of getting very honest, transparent feedback.

Matt: Yeah, yeah. It's good though, right? I mean, it is, I think it's helpful. Very, very helpful. So let me ask you, I've been married, um, 25 years this year, um, and love being married. My wife's awesome. She's an absolute legend. But the longest distance we have, the longest time span we've ever been apart is, I think five weeks when I did a around the world trip.

Uh, I, I went over to New Zealand for a few weeks, was working over there, met my sons in the States. We did. I spent a couple of weeks, just me and my two boys, travelling around the state, which was remarkable. But that was five weeks, the longest I'd been away from my wife. I cannot imagine [00:23:00] a year apart. How, how was that?

Danielle: That was it. So we've done a couple times. We did a year apart. We did So, eight months after we got married, we did six weeks apart or six months apart. That was the hardest because we actually couldn't talk, so I only got like three phone calls during that time. But the year apart, I would say it's very difficult because the hardest part is. I almost, in my kind of survival mode, and I wouldn't probably say it's the best survival mode, but it's a kind of detach. Just like they, when they're overseas, they're detaching because they're, they've got to focus on a war torn area. They're fighting battles and they kind of have to detach themselves and I've got a little bit detach from what's going on over there and not worry because a lot of people will say, well, aren't you [00:24:00] worried?

That something might happen to him. And I said, worrying is not going to serve me because worrying, I can't control what happens over there. And worrying is just going to eat at me inside. And that's not what I, that's not going to serve me in any way. So my focus right now is trying to just take it day by day, keeping communication, the times that we can keep in communication and get very creative and incorporating him in my, in our kids lives.

I, I did things where they were facing, they were rear facing at that time because they were two, and so I had a picture of my husband and I hugging, uh, that was in between them in the middle seat. So that's something that they saw. So it was a way of them always seeing their face, but it was them, a way of them seeing us together when they faced us.

They can't see us together. There's just little nuances that I tried to incorporate in, but it was, it was difficult. It was not easy at all. It was exhausting. Trying to keep up with

Matt: yeah, yeah, yeah, no doubt, no doubt. [00:25:00] So is your husband deployed now?

Danielle: No, he's not deployed now. No, he's back now, which is, which is great.

Matt: Okay. Um, I was at a wedding yesterday, uh, Danielle, that, uh, a young girl, Abi, beautiful girl. Um, Abi, I've known since she was born. I'm good friends with her parents. Um, she is a very similar age to my eldest son, so they've kind of grown up together, you know, and, and, uh, we know them very well. She got married yesterday, such is the phase of life that I'm now in, where my...

Uh, Sons Friends, two of my Sons Friends have got married, which I'm not quite sure what I, how I feel about this, if I want to say, still too young in my head, um, and so she got married, obviously, uh, there is an expectation, I think, there is a romance, there is a, um, uh, an expectation, I suppose, there's a story which you've written in your head about what married life looks like, um, and.[00:26:00]

It was wonderful when I was sat at the wedding because there were so many different generations there, like her grandparents were there, they've been married, I think, since Noah was around. I mean, they're just awesome, you know. Um, we'd been married 25 years and then she'd been married 25 seconds. Um, when you got married and you stood there on your wedding day, and there's the romance, there's the expectation, I'm assuming you, you did that knowing that there would be these deployments, there would be these long seasons apart, right?

Danielle: the contrary. My husband, yeah, uh, my husband and I, when he, when we got married, he was 32 years old. So when we were dating, he had mentioned he wanted to join the military, and I was very supportive. Absolutely. You want to join the military? I would support that. And then he put a ring on it, and all of a sudden, reality hit me, hit me, and I said, I had just, we were living in California.

I had just purchased my home. I had just gotten [00:27:00] my dream job with this company that I wanted to work for. I was in a management role. I was, everything that I had been striving and saving for to achieve, I was getting, I was getting what I was wanting. And I looked at him and I said, I love you and I want you to be happy.

And I know that I've told you that I'm going to support the military decision, but I. I don't want to and I want to be very honest with you because I don't want to be moving around all the time. I've worked so hard to get to where I'm at today. I was 30 at the time and I, I said, I've worked so hard to get to where I'm at.

I don't want to be moving around all the time and starting all over. Maybe if I was in my early 20s and, and I said, if you don't want to get married, I completely understand because I'm changing, I'm, I'm changing my positioning on this. And he thought about it and he's like, no, I really want to get married.

And. I understand. So, then we get married and I, I noticed that as we're married, he just doesn't seem [00:28:00] happy. He was trying to chase the dollar versus chasing what really was fulfilling for him.

Matt: hmm.

Danielle: And I just started to see over time that he just wasn't happy. So I looked at him one day and I said, you know what?

Don't let my Fears of the unknown hold you back from pursuing what you want to do. And kind of a little background story for him, he, his father was an immigrant from Cuba, came over from Cuba to United States, lived in an orphanage and lived the American dream. Became a very prominent general surgeon, very respected, and my husband wanted to give back to the country that had given his family everything.

And so I said, okay, join the military, I'll support you. And at the time, my husband owned a business. He had, he had his MBA, owned a business, very successful. He ended up selling his business and at 32 years old, joined the army, going through basic [00:29:00] training with 18 year olds.

Matt: Wow. That's, that's pretty impressive.

Danielle: Yes. Yeah. So he, he likes to say he was the grandpa on the battlefield, uh, when he was out there. So, yeah, I, I, when I imagined my first year of marriage to look like was very different than it was. I, I, he was gone our one year anniversary. We've probably had, we've only probably celebrated half of our anniversaries together.

A lot of times he's gone. But that's just, but at the same time, it's also opened up a lot of doors for us. We, as much as the reason why I didn't want him to join the army was for moving. Sure enough, we moved as soon as he got back, we moved to Alabama, then

Matt: ha ha ha ha ha.

Danielle: And at the same time, I'm grateful that I am in Florida.

I love where I live. And if it wasn't for the Army, I'd probably be still living in California, kind of still living the same life, but not have the exposure of a world that I never knew was [00:30:00] possible, uh, without moving out of my comfort zone. So it's been a blessing. I wouldn't say it's easy. It's very, very hard.

Uh, there's definitely a chapter in the book where I talk about the struggles of what it's like to be a military family and I don't sugarcoat it. I know a lot of times people will, but I don't. Uh, it's a work in progress, but I'm, I'm grateful for it.

Matt: Wow. And in the midst of this you had twins, um, which in itself is a challenge.

Danielle: Yes, I had twins, and it, interesting story with the twins was, When they were born, they were born 6 weeks early and they had spent 2 weeks in the NICU. And right when they got home from the NICU, uh, we were, I had, I had unfortunately had some complications with my C section, I had gallstones, I'm in the hospital, and I'm in the hospital and the doctor looks at me and this is, this goes true to what it's like to be a military spouse, and he [00:31:00] looks at me and he says, you need to have surgery.

You know, we need to remove your gallbladder, and as I'm, he's saying this, I'm looking at the TV and it, the TV says, Emergency, Alert, Category 5 Hurricane about ready to hit Florida. And as I'm saying this, I get a phone call from my husband that says, I've just been activated and I've got to move helicopters because we've got to move the helicopters out of Tampa to the Northeast.

And it was a matter of, you become very resourceful as a military spouse, you become very resourceful calling your friends, your neighbors, who can help board up the house, who's got a generator, what can we do? Uh, and, and we ended up getting through that hurricane. But as a military spouse, you become very, very resourceful.

You learn to ask for help.

Matt: It's interesting that you've, on one hand you said you become very resourceful and the first thing you said was you learn to ask for help. Because I think a lot of people, their [00:32:00] default thinking would be to say, You learn to become very resourceful, therefore I know how to solve this problem, I'm gonna...

But what you said feels like, Danielle, it's a slightly, um,

Danielle: Mm hmm.

Matt: oxymoron ish, if I can put it that way. You become very resourceful, you learn to ask for help. Um, I love that by the way, but I, I'm, it's interesting how, how that was your first response to that. Um, and so for you, becoming resourceful is learning how to ask for help, it seems.

Danielle: Absolutely. And a lot of times we view help as a weakness. Oh, we are weak if we ask for help. But what would it look like if we shifted our approach on what help is? Because studies show that when we help somebody, we get a boost of dopamine. We, which is the happy, it's a happiness, uh, chemical within our brain.

We are, it is very fulfilling to help other people. So what would it look like if we shifted our mindset and said, by asking for help, [00:33:00] we're not burdening somebody. We're giving them an opportunity to experience joy, happiness, and connection. The people that were there for me during that time who helped.

Board up my house, and we're, you know, in shock, but kind of going, is this really happening? Is this really life right now? Those are some of the people that have become my closest friends because we rallied around and supported each other and became in community with each other. So asking for help, I believe, is, is the key to connection and deep, meaningful connection.

And it, it, it's very fulfilling to help other people.

Matt: Yeah, it is. It is. It's interesting, there's a psychological phenomenon that goes alongside this, that actually, uh, people want to help, they just don't always know how to help. Um, and because they don't know how to help, they don't get in, they don't want to seem to be interfering or, do you know what I mean, it, it sort of prevents that from happening.

Um, I used to be [00:34:00] on, uh, the ambulance, used to drive the ambulances and, and all that sort of stuff a long time ago. And, uh, I did that with the British Red Cross, an amazing organization, and one day, I remember I was driving in my car, which was a Mini Cooper, loved that car, so wish I'd not got rid of that car, but that's another story.

I was driving this Mini Cooper down the road, and I came across a road traffic accident, right? And there was, I was the first person just driving a pass that had sort of medical... Knowledge, I suppose. And so I, I pull over my car, I get involved, there's three or four cars, do a quick triage, and there's one car where there's a gentleman who is not doing very well.

Okay. But I can't get to him in the car and. There's, there's a row of, uh, they call it the bystander effect. There's a row of bystanders sort of stood around all having a look, um, all wanting to help, none of them knowing what to do. Uh, and I, I, I always remember this, there was a guy standing there, I looked at him, he looked like the hulk, you [00:35:00] know, I mean, just massive guy with ma, just massive guy.

And, um, I said to him, I said, listen, dude, I need to get in the back of this car. I need you to, I need you to somehow make that possible because he just looked really strong. And so he came to me and he said, do you think they'll mind if I rip the doors off? I'm like, this car is totaled. They're not going to give a, and he, and it was just like, honestly, he just walks over to the car and he rips the door, I, I still, incredible what I saw and what I witnessed.

But the point of the story is, apart from this man being very strong, uh, was. People want to help, they just need someone to tell them how to help, and by asking people to help, you become slightly vulnerable, people respect that, and they will help you because they've been wanting to do it for a long time.

And so I love that. I became more resourceful by asking for help. I love that. Let me, um, let me ask you a question. You started off, uh, this. Uh, uh, segment, should I call it, a section, uh, this little [00:36:00] conversation, uh, when you were at corporate, um, you asked yourself a question, am I happy? And you started to, you know, do your two columns.

Are you happy now?

Danielle: I'm very happy now. I'm very. It took a long time to get to this point because, again, I, I tied so much of my identity to earning sales awards and manager of the year and the income, and I kept, through time, That's where I tied my success to, but it, you know, building a business, you know that that doesn't happen overnight.

And there's a lot of times where you're trying to make ends meet and trying to figure it out while you're building your business. And that took a big adjustment too, but every, there was one step that I didn't mention that I think is important too that really, I, this is a step that I go back to. And that is after I started to look at.

What, you know, how, what makes, what am I happy? Where do I [00:37:00] find fulfillment in, of all the jobs that I've had? How do people describe me? The last step that I did was I wrote an obituary for myself, from a co worker's perspective and a family member's perspective. And I said if it was my last day on earth, How would I want people to describe who I am and what impact I've made on people's lives?

And it's the obituary exercise. And in any time that I am doubting myself, any time that I am going, and is this the right path that I want to go on? Um, am I, um, any bumps or trials and tribulations that I run into, I always go back and say, no matter what, am I living in alignment with my vision on the legacy and the impact that I want to make?

And if I am? Then, then, then I'm doing the right thing and being in integrity with it. And, and then when, you know, when you talk about being on a podcast, uh, being a podcast to me is, is, is sharing people's legacies. It's sharing, it's [00:38:00] sharing their knowledge with the world and it's how they get to make an impact.

And so that's, that's kind of my barometer I would say on unhappiness is, is am I living in integrity with the impact that I want to make?

Matt: Well, and so you just feel that you are, if you are defining yourself as happy, right?

Danielle: Yeah, absolutely. I mean, I get to spend time with my, I am, I'm not on the road. I'm on the road because I'm a speaker. So I obviously travel for speaking, but I've. I spend more time with my kids now than I ever did before, which is amazing. I'm actually there to wake them up, even though it's really early in the morning for school, I'm not a fan of, um, and at night, and I, I get to do what I want.

I get to create the path that I want to create versus it being defined for me by a company. Mm

Matt: that's powerful as well, especially with the kids, and the lesson that they're going to learn seeing that grow up is quite extraordinary really.

Danielle: hmm.

Matt: How old are the kids now?

Danielle: So there are six now. Mm [00:39:00]

Matt: Wow, okay, still manic energy? What was it, a squirrel with a triple espresso shot?

Danielle: with a triple espresso, yes, there's no shortage of energy. I mean, they have a bloodline of a father who's a Blackhawk pilot, so you can imagine how much driddling just runs through

Matt: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Danielle: then me, who's a very go getter type personality, so they are, they, they are very energetic. They keep us young and on our

Matt: Yeah, apparently, God's gift, apparently, that's what you have to keep telling yourself to the kids. Um, it's just, it's fascinating, absolutely fascinating. I'm reminded, I don't know if you've seen the movie Over the Hedge, the animated movie Over the Hedge, with Hammy the squirrel, um, so your six year olds will love it.

My kids loved Over the Hedge, I think Bruce Willis is the voice of the, is the voice of Hammy. What's he the voice of? I don't know. Anyway, he's, he's in there. Um, and there's this one scene in the movie where they give the squirrel, um, [00:40:00] a caffeinated energy drink and how they portray that is just, it's, I still laugh about it now.

It's very, very funny. So,

um,

Danielle: definitely have to check that movie

Matt: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Definitely check that because as you're talking, that's what I've got in my head. Um, how do you, how do you stay sharp? How do you recharge your batteries? What do you do there? Because you've obviously got a lot going on.

Danielle: I recharge my batteries by being intentional with the boundaries that I set. So it's very common for people to say between the hours of five and eight, I may not be as responsive to text message or phone calls and that's because that is my time with my kids. I pick my kids up. We go for a walk. We do homework, we cook dinner, bedtime routine, things like that.

I'm very intentional about putting some boundaries in place so that I can be present in the moment with the people that I'm with, and I also will try to leave my cell phone, the average person touches their cell phone [00:41:00] 200 times a day, which is shocking to me, but that is a statistic. That is a reality, and so I will put my phone in another room.

I can still hear it. I still have an Apple watch, so I'll get notifications if there's an emergency, but I put it in another room to create. That, that boundary, because I believe that so often one of the reasons why we get burnt out is we've got our mind in so many different places and we miss out on being present in the moment.

So that is one. Uh, I would also say in the morning, I don't touch my cell phone for an hour for the first Hour of my morning, I will, you know, be present with my family. Then I'll go for a walk, get outdoor, get outside. Maybe I'll listen to a podcast. I'll have my phone on there. Uh, but really fueling my mind and I'm also intentional about planning something to look forward to.

I love to travel. I love to explore new areas. And it's important that if I'm working on something that's a big project and it's going to be labor intensive and it's going to take a lot of time, I want something [00:42:00] to look forward to. And it could be a weekend getaway somewhere or it could be a trip, but I always want something on the calendar to ensure that I am taking some time out for, for me time.

Matt: I love that. Planning something to look forward to. And it sounds like that's mainly going to be something travel related. Would that be right?

Danielle: Yeah, it's always travel related. I like to explore the country and the world, but it's a little, it's a little more challenging with kids because, you know, I will get, I'll get notes from the teacher saying you can't pull your kids out of school unless they're sick, so I gotta be more conscious of that, but I will any time I can if it's a, if it's an extended week off of school, I'm going somewhere.

Matt: Do you have, um, Do you have like a secret location, a sort of a private place, or a place that is, that um, is just really special to you, um, that would be your, your, your go to place, or do you not get, do you not do that, everywhere is special,[00:43:00]

Danielle: now, I'm really enjoying Naples, Florida, because Naples, Florida is only a couple hours away, so it's somewhere I could drive easily, which means I don't have to keep paying for four flights, for, for four seats on a flight. It's an easy drive. I can do it over a three day weekend, and I, to me, coming from California, I used to go to Palm Desert, Palm Springs all the time, which is a beautiful area, but Naples is, as my, my comparison is Naples is Palm Desert on the water.

So it kind of is a little taste of home for me, but it's near the water and it's drivable, so it's a good weekend getaway.

Matt: yeah, beautiful part of Florida as well, Naples, also, um, just a great place to go visit, uh, I'm not going to lie. Um, um, what does tomorrow look like, or the future? You talk about planning something to look forward to, I guess. What, what are you looking forward to, and what are you intentionally growing into?

Danielle: What I'm looking forward to right [00:44:00] now is the launch of my book. This was the first book that I've, that I've written and that comes out February 21st, yep. So that's been a, that has been a labor of love because I, I knew that writing a book would be a lot of work. I was pleasantly surprised, even more so than I thought, uh, but a lot of time went into writing the book.

So I'm really looking forward to all the, the year that I put into writing every single day and sharing that message with the world and hopefully impacting lives in a positive way. So that's one area that I'm looking forward to and I'm looking forward to just what's possible. Sometimes you don't even know what you don't know,

Matt: yeah.

Danielle: uh, what could be out there, but.

I just envision myself, um, continuing to, to hopefully make a positive impact on people's lives through speaking and podcasting and the book and who else knows what's out there.

Matt: Right, that sounds fantastic, and you've definitely got your brand now, haven't you? Your [00:45:00] Unstoppable Grit, your book, you've rebranded the podcast, um, and it's a great title actually. Uh, loving it, loving it, loving it. So the book is now finished, uh, is that, is that correct? So what's the, what's the hold up between now and publishing?

Danielle: Now it's going through internal design. So there's the formatting and design of a book. There's so much that goes on behind writing a book. I know.

Matt: probably figure it out one day.

Danielle: editing and copywriting and proofreading and then there's, uh, the internal design. So ensuring that anytime that you, it, it's the nuances when you have a page that it doesn't, a page doesn't stop with a half sentence.

That the sentence is complete before the next page and the layout's in. And there's some graphics in my book as well. Uh, when I talk about the dopamine loop, there's some different graphics and frameworks that are in there. Cause a lot of the book is about, it's more about a story and then how do you apply it towards your life.

I [00:46:00] want people to walk away going, wow, I have practical tips and tools that I can use to apply to my life as the goal of the book and, and how it's going to transform people's lives. And then it's going to go into pre marketing, so pre launch phase where it's going to be all the marketing and then, and then the actual launch.

Matt: Fantastic. Fantastic. And resilience is such a great topic to, to share with the world because I think it's one of the most needed topics to share with the world. Um, because it, it's, it's, it's one of those things I think people have forgotten about. You know, it's like, my life's not perfect, therefore, you know, it, it.

It's not working, you can, well, I'm not entirely sure that's correct, um, let's, let's, let's, you know, think about this a little bit. So I'm looking forward to the book coming out, uh, pre marketing, internal design, you know, willing and all that sort of, just,

Danielle: If I meet my deadlines on time, yes. Stop.

Matt: brilliant, like, Danielle, let's, let's do the question box. Uh, dun dun dun. This is where [00:47:00] I have a card deck of random questions. I'm going to flick through them. You're going to tell me when to stop. And wherever we stop, that's the question we're going to go for. Okay. I should,

Danielle: a magic trick.

Matt: something like that. I should definitely do, um, Like, um, a poll on where people tell me to stop.

Some people are very early, some people are very late, some people are in the... yeah, that's interesting. Anyway, what music has influenced your attitude to life?

Danielle: There is a song that I actually talk about in the book and it's by Surfaces. Surfaces was a band that came out kind of during the pandemic, but in, but in the song, I mean, it's a very up, I like uplifting music. I just, I like to be, just be happy, so I like uplifting music, but in the, in the song he talks about [00:48:00] how life is going to sometimes knock us down, and it talks a lot about resilience and picking ourselves back up, so it's.

The Surfaces is definitely a band I enjoy listening to.

Matt: Okay, The Surfaces, I will check out that song. I imagine it's on YouTube. But it's interesting, isn't it, because I look at that question, what music has influenced your attitude to life? And I would say that it's a very complex question to answer, you know, in a lot of ways. So I could look at, um, for example, say church music, which would be that kind of, you know, positive, uh, life affirming, uh, sort of You come out very...

energised by it. Um, but in terms of attitude, I would say when I was growing up, I grew up in a single home with my mum and I listened to a lot of music. So that's what we did back in the eighties. We, we bought, I don't know if you remember the discs, you know, the, not the discs, the records, [00:49:00] you know, vinyl, uh, was, uh, the thing back then, um, and cassette tapes.

And we bought those and there was a lot of songs. that were just about life as the culture sort of understood it, interpreted it at the moment. And I think that influenced me way more than I probably gave it credit for, do you know what I mean? I had to unpick a lot of that later in life because a lot of it I thought was quite unhelpful if I'm honest with you.

Um, but um, yeah, fascinating, fascinating question, I shall ponder that a little bit more. So yeah, listen, it's been lovely chatting to you and um, really enjoyed meeting you. Love your podcast, looking forward to the book, uh, if people want to connect, if they want to find out more about you, about the podcast, about the upcoming book, what's the best way to do that?

Danielle: Best way to contact is the Unstoppable Grit Podcast with Danielle Cobo. So Spotify, Apple Podcast. And then I'm on all social media platforms, but majority I'm on LinkedIn.

Matt: Okay, [00:50:00] uh, under Danielle Cobb, Cobo,

Danielle: Danielle Cobo. O B O.

Matt: C O

B O.

Danielle: Cobos are going to Cabo.

Matt: Okay, fair enough, yeah, yeah, why not? It works. Uh, brilliant. We will of course link to Danielle's info in the show notes, uh, as well, which if you're subscribed to the newsletter will be coming along for free to your inbox. Uh, they'll be winging their way to you. Danielle, listen, thank you so much for coming on the show.

Genuinely lovely, lovely, lovely to meet you. Uh, enjoy the story. Good luck with the boys. Uh, it sounds like they're going to, the boys, the twins, uh, it sounds like, uh, you're going to have some fun.

Danielle: Oh yes.

Matt: And so, uh, so I hope all that goes well, but, um, thank you for coming on.

Danielle: Thank you.

Matt: Well, that's a wrap on another invigorating conversation, isn't it?

A massive round of applause. Sorry, Danielle, I have to do this. I'm learning my sound effects, uh,

Danielle: Oh, I want to know [00:51:00] Scott. I want to get sound effects like that.

Matt: on the board here. It's great, aren't they? Just, yep. Uh, thank you so much, Danielle, for joining us today. Big round of applause, of course. Huge thanks again to the show's sponsor, aurion Media. For all you change makers out there contemplating podcasts as your new vehicle of expression and connection, do connect with them at orientmedia.

org. Now, remember, keep pushing, uh, to be more, and don't forget to follow the show wherever you get your podcasts from, because we've got yet more great conversations lined up, and I don't want you to miss any of them. And in case no one has told you yet today, dear listener, let me be the first, you are awesome.

Yes, you are. Created awesome. It's just a burden you have to bear. Danielle has to bear it. I've got to bear it. You've gotta bear it as well. Now push to be more ears brought to life by aurion Media for transcripts and show notes. Like I say, swing on by the website, push tobe more.com and a big kudos to the team that makes this show possible.

The amazing, the talented, the wonderful Sadaf Beynon Tanya Hutsuliak. And also [00:52:00] shout out to Josh Edmundson for the fantastic theme music. So from Danielle and from me, thanks for joining in. Have an awesome week. I'll catch you on the flip side. Until then, keep pushing and bye for now.