Transforming Life, Business, and Personal Growth | Neil Morecraft

Neil: I wasn't gonna sacrifice the same things because when I look back on my life there prior to that, when I would go, you know, I'm too busy. I'm working right. I'm working, I was up early and I found myself doing it all the time. And I've got six kids and five of my own one that we foster. And uh, and I remember thinking, yeah, I'm, I'm just always busy.

I'm always working and I. Well, why am I doing this?

Matt: Welcome to Push To Be More with me your host, Matt Edmundson. Now this is a show that talks about the stuff that makes life work and to help us do just that. Today I am chatting with Neil Morecraft about where he has had to push through what he does to recharge his batteries as well as well, you know, What he's doing to be more.

Now the show notes and transcript from our conversation are gonna be available on the website, pushtobemore.com. Also on the website, you can sign up for our newsletter if you have yet to do so. And each week we will email you the links along with the notes from the show. Direct to your inbox automagically.

It's, it's totally free. It's amazing. So make sure you sign up. Now this episode is brought to you by Aurion Media, which helps entrepreneurs and business leaders set up and run their own successful podcast. Neil, you know what I have found running my own podcast to be insanely rewarding. It opens doors to amazing people like nothing else I have seen.

I've built networks, I've made friends. I've had a platform to champion my customers, made my team and my suppliers fall in love with me in all kinds of different ways, and I think just about any entrepreneur or business leader should have a podcast because it's had such a huge impact on my own business.

Now of course, that all sounds great in theory, but in reality, there's the whole problem of setup, distribution, getting the tech right, knowing what the right podcast strategy is. I mean, am I even a podcaster? They're all great questions. Now you see, I love to talk to people. I genuinely do, but I'm not a big fan of all that production and all that techy stuff.

So the team makes the magic happen. The Aurion media team, they take it all off my plate. I get to do what I'm good at, and they brilliantly take care of the rest. So if you're wondering if podcasting is a good marketing strategy for your business, do connect with them at aurionmedia.com. That's A U R I O N Media dot com.

And of course, they will be linked on the pushtobemore.com website as well. So that's our show sponsor. Let's meet today's guest, Neil Morecraft, a high energy technology entrepreneur and performance marketeer who has been transforming businesses for over 25 years. He's the owner and operator of Digital Directive, a full service digital agency and technical consultancy that serves high, high growth businesses worldwide.

Now he has experienced it all, raising, founding, exiting, dissolving. Liquidating over seven companies dealing with personal struggles and even declaring bankruptcy in 2015, but he has bounced back from it all and developed a methodical and straightforward approach to the whole work-life balance Question

that you can adopt. So Neil's a strategic thinker who brings a big picture perspective to every challenge, and he empowers people to reach their highest potential. In other words, he is gonna be an awesome guest, no pressure. But Neil, welcome to the show, man. Great to have you. How are you doing?

Neil: Hi, Matt? Yeah, I'm good. Thank you. Yeah, it was a great introduction. Thank you for that. I sound great.

Matt: See if we can make it. See

Neil: I like me

Live

Matt: to the hype. It is brilliant. Well, it's great to have a fellow Brit on the podcast. Whereabouts in the in the world are you?

Neil: I am in between, uh, Wimbledon and Kingston. So I'm in a place called Worcester Park, but I don't say Worcester Park cause no one really knows where that is. But everyone knows where Kingston is and everyone knows where Wimbledon is. And I'm in the middle

Matt: But does that mean you get cheap tickets to the tennis every year?

Neil: Um, Sadly not. No. In fact, I don't. I've never been to Wimbledon. Funnily enough. It is literally just around the corner, but never been. So not a big sportsman, really. More golf, if anything.

Matt: Okay. Well, yeah, there's, there's not a golf course at Wimbledon. I, I know that much. So, yeah, I mean, we are reading in, in your introduction now, you've, you know, you've, you've, you've done a few things so far, uh, in life, Neil, and one of the things that we do, um, on this show, uh, and I'm changing the order of questions around slightly just to see, see what happens.

Um, but one of the questions I like to ask people to, because the show is sponsored by Aurion Media, right? Which is this podcast agency helps businesses have podcasts. We mentioned just a few seconds ago. If you had a podcast, right, and you could interview anybody on that podcast, um, past or present, um, that's had a big impact on your life, whether a family member song, you know, whether that's someone you know or you don't know, a podcaster, uh, an author TV personality.

I don't know who would be, who would be top of your list to have as a guest

Neil: Yeah, good question. I think immediately, as I said to you before, this guy, the, the author of this book here Napoleon Hill, Think and Grow Rich has probably had the biggest impact on me. And you know, I discovered him. I don't know. 20 years ago maybe, or something. Um, and I've read that book many times and yeah, I, I think that he's clearly had, um, you know, a really interesting journey having interviewed some of the world's greats. So I think I'd love to get him around the table. I dunno if I'd specifically wanna ask him anything. I just wanna chat with the guy, you know, but,

Matt: yeah. Pick his brains.

Neil: yeah, absolutely. Yeah, so for sure. Yeah.

Matt: So what is it about Napoleon Hill then that, um, or, or what is it about that book that's drawn you back time and time again? Because, uh, you don't read a book more than once, unless something about it sort of captures you and I'm, I'm curious to know what that is for you.

Neil: I, I think I just, it really resonated with me when I first picked it up. I, I think like a lot of people, you think it's about wealth, right? The, the title thing can grow rich and you instantly think money, oh, I did. Um, but of course it doesn't really start with that. And as you go through it, I just think it's got some really good foundations for life and.

You know, I found myself, um, I guess enjoying degrees of success quite early on in life and, and then getting asked the question, what do I want? And that was from a venture capitalist at the time when my second business was doing, in my eyes pretty well. And, uh, and I didn't know the answer to the question.

And not only did it bug me, it really stuck with me. And, and, and it really changed the course of my life because I realized that I didn't know what I wanted. Um, I knew what I didn't want. And as I analyzed that, I started to look around thinking, hang on a minute. This is, this wasn't really the plan, and I realized I hadn't really thought too much about my life at that point.

I'd just been going at it full, um, you know, hammer and tongs and, um, yeah, as I picked that book up and, and it, and I started reading about it and it started to, to break it down into compartments for me, I started to realize that there were all these other elements to my life that were really important that I'd neglected.

Um, So I think it kind of just made me a better person. It certainly made me be more aware. And, uh, yeah, and I still, I've listened to, I think all of his old recordings. I think, I

Matt: Oh wow.

Neil: today as they are, or they were back then. And, um, yeah, as I say, it's been a foundation for me and, and I, and I've taken bits of that and I've, I've incorporated that into what I refer to as my Power of six, which is this sort of strategy that has helped me, uh, uh, Create this life work balance, as I called it. I put life first cuz I think that's more important than work. Um, but yeah, uh, yeah, that, that was it, really, as I say, and, and, and every time I pick the book up and I read it or I read any material that's related to it, I always get something new from it. You know, I never stop learning from it. And that's one thing I've, I've taken from that book is that I never wanna stop learning.

You know, I always wanna keep growing.

Matt: It's a really interesting thing, isn't it, that you've got these, I call 'em the old school books, so you've got Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill. The other ones that I, that sort of come to my mind, you've got. Probably anything written by Zig Ziglar, but the most famous one that springs to my mind is reaching the top.

You've got How To Make Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie.

Neil: Yeah, another, another really inter that was really impactful for me as well as a salesman. I, I think my manager gave that to me some 30 years ago. And when I picked that book up and I realized that, that again really made a difference with, uh, with how Ilooked at things, you know,

Matt: Yeah. I, I totally get it. I, I think this, these sort of old school books and they're the kind of books I give to my kids and say, these are books you have to read.

Neil: Yeah, I mean, I've

Matt: think they're gonna

Neil: my son, uh, since he was 18 and I don't think he's read it yet, year, another edition. And I see it just used as a, you know, as a stop or an ornament somewhere and, you know, you can say all sort of thing, you know. But, uh, one day I'm sure, I hope it

Matt: He'll

Neil: read it

Matt: sit down and read it. Yeah. Yeah, no, really fascinating. I like you. I'd love to, I, I'd love, I mean, obviously it's not gonna happen, but I, I would love to have had the opportunity to, to, to sit down with Napoleon Hill, um, and to chat with him. Dale Carnegie, Zig Zigler, all these old school guys. I would just, you know, what made them tick would, would be some, uh, some great questions.

So, Listen, Neil, I I, we read at the start, I mean, let's, let's jump into this because we, I read in the bio, you know, in, was it 2015? You, you went bankrupt.

Um, what, what was that like?

Neil: Um, it was tough, but it was, it was self declaration. It wasn't that anybody took me bankrupt. In fact, you know, years previous to that, I should have gone bankrupt, you know, as I came out of what was my second business, we were part of the dot com boom, and then all of a sudden we were part of the dot com bust.

And, uh, and I, there was a stigma attached to it. You know, I owed a lot of money. You know, the company failed. I was in a good couple of hundred grands worth of personal debt.

Matt: Mm-hmm.

Neil: I just didn't wanna go bankrupt. You know, I, I'd earned money, I'd always knew how to earn money, so I thought, well, I'll just earn the money, pay it back, and it'll all be good.

Um, but it wasn't, you know, it, it took me years going through an IVA to pay back that money. Um, my credit had suffered. Mentally. I was just in a bad place. I just couldn't seem to get out of the rut and, When I came to the end of that IVA and I found myself, you know, clear of the debt, but in a position where I just kind of felt like I was just getting straight back into the same paradigm that got me there in the first place.

Um, I realized that yeah, something had to change. And it was actually at the time when I, um, I reached out to Bob Proctor, he became my first mentor. And I paid him some money to do what I thought was business coaching at the time. Um, I think it was about the time that The Secret came out, the film, the Secret, and uh, and I found this guy online.

I thought, you know what? He knows what he's talking about. And I did my research. So I, I spent some money and invested with him, and he gave me a couple of exercises, which really got me thinking. And then I realized at that time I was back in a business that I didn't wanna be in. I'd been dragged in by some people in the industry that said, oh look, come and.

Come and get involved in this and do this, and. I was really unhappy. And again, it was one of these things I thought, well, I knew what I didn't want. I didn't really know what I did want. And um, and I thought something's gotta change. And, uh, so I thought, well, if I start from zero, got nothing to lose kind of thing.

So, Dare I say I planned it. You know, I thought about it for a while. I, I got over the stigma of it. Cause I realized that, well, you know, if you try and fail, it's better to do that than never to try sort of thing. And, and in fact, I didn't owe a lot of money. I was just on the amount of money, which was 20 grand, believe it or not.

Where, where if I'd owed less than that, I couldn't have gone bankrupt anyway. I'd had to pay it back, but I'd paid back and I thought, Yeah, you know what? I don't, I, there's something inside me that said I need a fresh start. And it, I, I kind of was prepared for it. But actually when I stood in court, uh, and they said, you know, where do you live? And at that point I was kind of a no fixed abode.

Um, it really did hit home. Um, but it was the day after I asked my fiance to, to marry me. I thought, well, at this point, if she says yes, that's gotta be love, right? Cause I've got absolutely nothing. Um, and she did. And, uh, and, and yeah, I kind of made some, um, commitments to myself that not only was I never gonna get in that position financially again, that I was gonna really take control of, uh, understanding my wealth and not just being able to, to earn money, but also to retain it and to grow my wealth and really just become a lot more, uh, financially educated than I was previously.

But also that I wasn't gonna sacrifice the same things because when I look back on my life there prior to that, when I would go, you know, I'm too busy. I'm working right. I'm working, I was up early and I found myself doing it all the time. And I've got six kids and five of my own one that we foster. And uh, and I remember thinking, yeah, I'm, I'm just always busy.

I'm always working and I. Well, why am I doing this? And of course, what I wanted and, and what my ex-wife wanted at the time were kind of the same things, but we were on very different pages. I felt I needed to provide, I've gotta do this, I've gotta do this. And I realized that this was all to the detriment of the other things that were actually just as important, if not more important in my life.

So I really took a step back and thought, right, hang on a minute. What are these things that are really important in my life? And let me create this balance because yeah, never am I coming back in this court saying, that's happened. That's not ever gonna happen again. Um, and also that it wasn't really that important, you know, by the, when you really boil it down as I did.

Uh, and I came up with these six categories, which is mind, uh, body, personal, lifestyle, business, money, um, these six categories, money's at the end for a reason. Because when I thought about what was really important, My, mindset was probably the most important thing, right? I needed to be a sound mind. I actually pictured myself, you know, with a, goal, which was a million pounds, right?

I wanna be a millionaire. but I just pictured myself in a room full of money. That's it. No, nobody with me and. No windows, just a white room. And, I very quickly realized that was a really silly goal to have. So as I started to unpick that and I thought, well, hang on a minute, what do I really want?

I realized that I really wanted to be a sound mind first, and then I wanted to be a sound mind and body. And then I wanted to have people around me to share whatever it was that I had, you know, whatever experiences. Then I wanted maybe a slightly better room. So the lifestyle came into it. Um, and then it was about professional contribution, uh, giving back, and then money came last.

So I thought, well, if I tick, if I work consciously on all those other things first, um, if the money doesn't come, so what,

Matt: Yeah.

Neil: uh, I can still be happy and content with little. Um, and, and I live by that now. And actually that's exactly what happened. You know, it's, you know, as I worked through that, I realized that a lot of the things.

That I wanted, that really made me happy, like spending time with the kids. Phoning my mum on her birthday and just being present and taking care of myself and, you know, being, um, mindful. I, I tried meditating in the morning. I tried meditating in the evening. That didn't work for me, so I ended up just being mindful all the time.

Um, I just became a lot happier. I became a lot more content. Um, as I said, you know, I've lost everything. So I thought, well, you know, What I've got is mine, and you can't take that away from me. And a lot of it was, so much to do with just the way that I perceived things and how I reacted to things. Um, and it made me a lot calmer.

I eradicated the word worry, uh, from my, from my dictionary. I don't worry about anything I. I'm aware of these challenges as they come up. And of course things don't always go to plan, but I don't worry about them. I don't allow myself to worry about them because that just creates a negative environment, which I don't want.

and as a result of that, I just found myself being a lot calmer and, you know, I remind myself that I'm too blessed to be stressed. Even though, of course, um, I like everybody, especially when you're running a business or you are, you are juggling, um, what we do now in life and work. Um, it's very easy to get sucked into that and feel stressed.

Um, this system that I created, if you like, reminds me that, you know what, there's other things are just as important, if not more so. And by departmentalizing it like that and categorizing it, it really allows me to, to focus on what I'm doing. I became a lot more, um, efficient and productive. So when I was working, I was really structured at it.

I was really focused at it, and I was working for two or three hour blocks at a time, two or three times a week. A a a day, sorry. So that would get my eight to nine hours a day in, but I'll be doing that. Little bit in the morning, having a break, going to the gym, coming back, seeing the kids. Um, and it felt a bit anal at first because, you know, I created six calendars and six folders, and six reminders and six goals, and six, everything, everything had to fit in the box.

Um, but once I got used to it, it became a really easy way of, of just living. And as I say now, um, I don't really get too stressed about anything. I don't worry too much about anything. I've really had some challenges since, I mean, even as I was going through my bankruptcy and, uh, and we, we, we built the house that I'm, that I'm currently sitting in, um, which I was doing in my fiance's name because I couldn't get a mobile phone on contract, let alone a, a development finance for me. Um, you know, we had, we had a lot of challenges and, and you know, we nearly lost it.

But I think just having that approach, that slightly different mindset to it, just kind of got me through it. Sorry, I'm being nibbled by Tortoise. We've got a house tortoise. I just realized he's, he's under my feet. Um, yeah, so it just, it just, uh, it worked for me, you know, and as I say, anybody that I've spoken to, uh, since tends to have a bit of a takeaway from it.

They, they like the way, say, some people find it's a little bit too much. Now the dog is barking at the tortoise, by the way, or growling the tortoise

Matt: Got a real zoo going on there.

Neil: Yeah, well that's what comes when you have all these kids you see. So dogs and Guinea pigs and you know, fish or fish didn't last very long. But, uh, the tortoise, I think will outlive me. I think he'll

Matt: Yeah, probably, probably. Well listen now there's, I mean, there's so many questions I have for you at the moment. Um, before we get into, uh, I think you called it the power of six, um, your six categories. I wanna talk about those because obviously they've had a big impact for you.

Neil: Yeah.

Matt: Um, but your. I just wanna circle back a little bit, um, how have you found it, uh, fostering a child?

Because there, there's not many people. I mean, I know, I, I mean there's a great guy here in Liverpool, guy called Phil Watson, who, who's a real fostering champion actually. And he, um, he spent, he fosters kids and he, he, he in effect, um, works for the city council, helping people, foster kids. Really great guy.

Really inspiring guy. So I'm curious, how have you found being a foster dad alongside, and I dunno, when the, the, the child arrived in the process, was this

Neil: Yeah, so it's actually my, my nephew. So it's my fiance's sister's boy. Um, she's got some mental health problems. She's bi, she's bipolar, and her partner, um, died. So that Leo's dad died when he was quite young. Um, he's got ADHD and opposition defiance disorder and some other bits and bobs. He came to us when he was, uh, 10, 11.

So a few years ago, just, just as we hit Covid, which was a real tricky one, so we'd just finished building the house, we'd just got stable. Turns out that he'd been taken away by Social Services and put up in a, in a care home in Leeds. And uh, we just, no one else was stepping in. And, you know, my partner and I sort of discussed it and we said, look, well, he's family, we'll, we're in a position.

Let, let's just take him on, you know. It has been very, very difficult, you know, mainly because he's not had the love and affection that my kids have had growing up. So he is been very defiant. Um, and, and he's been quite violent and we've had the police out lots of times and it's been a real challenge. Um, but we're getting there, you know, right now actually he's away on respite.

He's, um, we had an incident, shall we say, uh, a few months ago where the police and the, the social services were here. And the problem we've got with him at the moment is, He's not taking any medication and when he gets to a certain age as he is now, if he doesn't wanna take the medication, you can't force it down him.

And right. So, um, but because of that, he finds it hard to regulate his emotions and, and as a result, he can get quite, um, quite violent quite quickly, particularly if he doesn't get his own way. So, to be fair, it's probably been one of the toughest things I've ever done, you know, and, and I'm not sure, um, that I would foster again or anybody else, but I equally, I wouldn't rule it out.

It's, it's been quite rewarding and I, and I hope that, uh, at someday, you know, we, we managed to make a difference. But it's, it's not, not been easy because, um, Yeah, it, it's, uh, it's had a big impact on, on the other kids. I mean, three of mine are from my first marriage. Uh, one of them doesn't live in me, so my eldest daughter's now 29.

But my eldest son, who's 24, my eldest daughter's 21, they live here as do my other two boys who are 10 and, uh, six. And then seeing him being violent, which then. It is very hard not to get angry. I, I hate getting angry. Get angry that I get angry and I'm really genuinely quite calm as a result. But when you, when you, someone's constantly pushing your buttons and then that's in your life, you don't want it there.

It's been a real challenge, but equally, I, I saw it as, um, as an opportunity for me, you know, because I knew that, you know, Fighting fire with fire wasn't gonna work. And I had to, I had to understand what was going on with him a bit more mentally, um, in order to, um, to be able to communicate and really make a difference.

So, you know, selfishly almost, I, I, I took him on thinking, well, this is gonna do me good regardless, right? So if I good with him as well. But, um, Yeah, it's been a, it's been a real tricky one. Um, but we're persevering and as I say, as he's getting older now and he's starting to figure out what he wants, uh, that becomes a bit easier.

But he's been outta school pretty much since we've, since he's been here. I mean, he's been expelled for three or four schools that we put him in. Um, he's not in school at the moment, and that course then makes it even more difficult. So, um, yeah, tricky,

Matt: yeah, it sounds it, but I mean, you know, well done on, on doing that because I think that's a, that's a really hard life choice, isn't it? But it's, I think it's, It's one of those things, and, and I know with Phil the stories you hear, some of them are like yours. You know, you, you, you, there are challenges on the way, but what it does for those kids is unbelievable,

Neil: Yeah, this is it.

Matt: you stepping in is, insanely brilliant.

Neil: Yeah. I, I think it, I, I kind of felt that it. It was gonna be a little bit easier cuz you think, well, you give him a room and a bit of wifi and the love and affection that he needs and all that and, and it, it's all gonna be great. But it's not because there's a much, much deeper, um, level of something going on there.

You know, in as much as the, for the first six months, he would sleep on the floor. Sometimes he'd sleep in the bathroom, you know, we bought him a bed, he had his own bedroom. We gave up one of the rooms, the, the kids that the two younger boys shared. Um, but he would sleep on the floor. He'd be up all night, you know, a bit of a night, and, and, and we realized that there was just, yeah, something missing.

As I say that he hadn't had this, um, kind of an affection early on. And you've gotta rebuild that. And we were totally aware that, of course, once they get past a certain age, some of these neural pathways already formed and you can't undo it. You've kind of gotta build on top of it. So it became yeah, a, a real challenge, but one that's worth it, for sure.

Matt: Yeah, no doubt. Well, what, that's awesome. And it's, um, it's an incredible thing, I think, fostering. And so, um, the fact you guys are doing it, uh, in spite of it all. Brilliant. Brilliant. So let's, um, let's hit this six. The, the power six. So just run through those again, Neil. What, what the, the ones you mentioned, mind, body, personal, lifestyle, what have I missed?

Neil: Business, money.

Matt: Business money.

Neil: Yeah. Yeah. So mind, as I say, is at the top of the list mainly because I, I, I say, I picture myself in this room and I thought, well, if I'm not a sound mind, nothing else matters. Right? If I've got. Alzheimer's or something. If I'm not of sound mind, nothing else matters. Um, and I say for, for a time.

I, I, I thought about that as, you know, spiritual connection or oneness or whatever. And, and I think it is, but it, it came to be this, it's always present. It's not like there's a little segment of my day where I'm mindful. It's like I'm mindful all the time. It's just this one little category that reminds me to be open and honest and aware and conscientious and kind, and all those sorts of things that you'd want to be as a human being.

Right. So that was that, that the sort of first thing and actually fairly easy box to tick. The, the second box, as I say, which was the body, um, was really about personal health and fitness. Um, and I definitely had been neglecting that, you know, I mean, I was overweight. In fact, I, I did have an obesity warning. My, I was about 16 and a bit stone,

Matt: Oh wow.

Neil: now. Um, you know, my

Matt: Sorry, Neil, just, um, for the, for the sake of our international listeners, you might wanna explain what 16 stone actually means for

Neil: Oh, okay. So in kilos I was about 98, maybe 98 kilos. And I'm now 80 kilos. So, you know, if we work, I don't do kilos, I'm a stone guy. Um, but yeah, overweight, right? I mean, I was, you know, 36 inch waist or 38 inch waist, you know, you know, big beer belly, just not really very healthy. Um, and I kind of kidding myself that I was all right with it.

But, you know, there was, there came a point when we got out on holiday and you know, you have that big shirt that you wear that's kind of, you know, the one that you wear when you're feeling a bit fat. Well, that didn't fit me anymore, you know,

Matt: Oh wow. Okay.

Neil: Yeah. And, and you know, the missus was like, you, you need to lose some weight. So I was like, yeah, okay. I do. Um, But actually when I took my health seriously and I started training regularly, I realized that I've just been making excuses all these years, right? So I mean, I go to the gym four times a week now, possibly five if I can get it in. I don't train at the weekends, but I go for an hour a day.

So, you know, if you divide the hour a day into all the hours are on a week, it's like a few percent of the week. Do you know what I mean? It's really not a lot of excuse. The only thing that was getting in the way is, oh, I'm too busy. I've gotta do this, I've gotta do that. Well, again, by, by prioritizing these things on the same level and saying, this is just as important as a meeting, or just as important as seeing the kids or whatever it might be, and you, and you start to schedule it in, they're, they're actually really easy to slot into the, into your diary.

So I, I tend to book those sessions in advance and then I work my week around that. I normally, I'm an early riser. And I normally make myself available as I did this morning. I was on a call at seven o'clock this morning. I've got a client in Australia, so I'll make myself available early in the morning.

I don't mind working up until sort of seven, eight o'clock at night, but I don't work the 12 hours in the middle. I'll work for bits in the middle, and then when the kids come home, I'll see the kids, et cetera. So the body bit was actually pretty easy once. I committed to it, and even more so now cause I'm getting married in a few months or remarried in a few months and I'm going for my wedding bod.

So I'm really conscious now of my calories and my macros and all sorts

Matt: The wedding bod. I like that. I like that phrase.

Neil: Yeah. Yeah. Well, you know, it's, I, I, I don't intend doing it again, that's for sure. So I wanna look good and feel good on the day. And it's more about feeling good for a, for a time. I was really conscious about my weight. I thought, you know, I've gotta get from 16 stone to 15 stone to full.

And I thought, you know what? I don't actually care how much a weight, it's more about how I feel when I look in the mirror, because I was absolutely guilty of telling myself some, some bad things, probably things I wouldn't even say to my best mate, you know? Oh my God. That front, you know, and, and that self, um, uh, talk, it just isn't good.

So yeah, that actually was relatively easy in as much as I, I kind of stopped drinking most of the time. I still do have a drink, but I cut out most of the alcohol. No big deal. Um, eating healthy, going to the gym a few times a week. That just made such a difference in the amount of energy that I've got. I genuinely feel like I've got as much energy now as I did when I was in my twenties and, and I remember my twenties a good time.

So I was going through, it was all good and, and for a long time through my thirties and forties that just gone, I dunno where it'd gone, but it's definitely back and, uh, you know, I'm 53 in three weeks time or something. And I generally feel like I'm, you know, in my twenties. So the body box was relatively quite easy.

The personal bit, again, relatively simple in terms of, well, what do I want out of love and relationships? Well, you know, I wanna love and I wanna be loved. Um, and that means maybe just being a little bit more connected to the people around me and just making the time to listen to these people, to talk to these people.

You know, my brother's in Thailand, my parents are in Spain. Um, yeah, just picking the phone up now and again and, and making a point now that when it's someone's birthday, I don't message 'em on Facebook. I pick the phone up and wish 'em happy birthday. And it's surprising that sometime, but I'm like the only person that's wished a happy birthday, they pick the phone up.

Right. Um, but of course that's easy. We just forget that. Well, actually, it's just as easy to pick the phone up and have a conversation with somebody as it is to write. Birthday wish on Facebook or, or worse, even like someone else's birthday wish on Facebook so that.

Matt: guilty.

Neil: Yeah, so that equally became relatively easy and, and the point that I'm making here is that as I started to think about what I wanted in life, right?

So what are my goals within these categories, they were instantly achievable. There wasn't something I had to wait a year for or whatever it was like instantly felt better because I was doing it straight away. And that then sort of has this compound effect where all of a sudden you just feel. Like you, you know, things are going in the right way.

And I, you know, the law of attraction, the more you do, the more you get, and all that kind of stuff. So it really did make a difference. The lifestyle box was a, was a tricky one because I do. I'm very happy with my lifestyle, but I want a better lifestyle, right? I don't want a boat and a, and a yacht. Um, but I like things, right?

And, and I've been guilty, I guess, in the past of probably spending money that I don't have. That's probably a, true, to say, maybe a weakness. but I like experience, right? So it's not about, Being ostentatious or flash. It's like, well, if I go out, I wanna go out and not worry about the fact that it's costing me X amount of money.

I don't wanna think about the monetary side of it if, I'm going on holiday or whatever, But, it, taught me to cut my cloth and, be grateful for what I've got. Cause as I say, at the point where I, when I went bankrupt, I had absolutely nothing and I was absolutely grateful for a warm shower and a roof over me, even though it wasn't my roof and my shower Do, you know what I mean?

Um, so that really grounded me and I say moving forward, I just became a lot more appreciative. Of the things that, um, that do surround you in, in life. So, but I do have aspirations to, to have a forever home. That's on my goal, uh, on my, on my list, you know? Um, but that's something that I work towards and, uh, and it's not the be on end or I don't doubt in fact that it'll come.

Uh, maybe I should be a little bit more definitive with the timeline. I'm probably not that bothered about it. Truth be told. It's one of these things a bit. Well, yeah, it'd be nice actually, but the house we live in is perfectly added good and fine, and I'm happy. So, you know, maybe there's a part of me that doesn't really want that.

And, and that's absolutely a reason I wouldn't get it, by the way. Um, When it came to business, which was, I say, coming down to the, the crux of it, that was really about professional contribution. I didn't wanna, I didn't wanna do something that would make me unhappy. I certainly didn't wanna work for money, so I stopped working for money altogether and, I started to think, well, hang on a minute.

what satisfies me? What, gives me fulfillment in what I do? And I've always done the same thing there, or thereabouts, right? For the last 20 or 30 years, I've been in the same sort of business. But there has been times when I've been doing it for the wrong reasons, and ultimately though they've failed because that's not the right thing to do, right?

If you go into it for the wrong reason, the universe is gonna interfere at some point and say, no, no, that's not how it works. Um, so I started becoming a lot more conscious of actually what really, um, got me outta bed in the morning, what did enthuse me, and, and started to just realign my business with more of that.

So I just felt good about it, you know? So I started, you know, stuff that I've been charging for. I started giving away. Um, almost to a point where it was, I was doing too much of it. I was giving too much away because I had this bad association with money. I definitely had a bad relationship that because I'd experienced success and then lost it.

Um, I had this kind of notion that it was the root of all evil, you know, and there was a part of me that didn't want that again, because I associated it with, with the failure though, that came with it. I got over that. Um, and I certainly don't have a bad relationship with it now. But from a business perspective, that actually made it really easy for me to come up with my value proposition, as it were, you know, helping people get started in business and then show them how to use the tech to build a bit, bit a better business online.

And then everything I did and everything I do fits into that box or don't do it. And it made it really easy for me to turn down things because, say previous to this, when I had an opportunity and says, oh, you know, come and get involved in this. Well, I knew I could do it, but I didn't really wanna do it, but there was a carrot of money or equity, whatever it might be.

So I felt, I found myself getting lured into that, whereas now, Just having that different attitude towards it allows me to say, no, that that doesn't fit with what I want and what I'm about. So therefore the answer is no. I can help you in in another way maybe, but that's, I'm not gonna give my time to that cause that's not in line with what I'm all about.

So it actually made it really easy for me to differentiate and I've definitely been game wrong over the years. There. Um, and then the money box, as I say, you know, I, I, I'm a believer that ultimately these things do slot into place. Um, and I definitely had some luck along the way in the money box having gone bankrupt.

Um, one of which is I, I found half a million quid in a pension that I'd forgotten all about, and I, I had no, yeah, and I'm, I'm in my, my garden and I'd gone onto one of these pension acts, pension B, it was a few years ago. I'd come outta my bankruptcy, I'd been, uh, discharged and I thought, well, I knew I had a pension years ago and I knew I had another pension and another one.

And I just said, well, I'll just amalgamate 'em and see what I've got. And there was 20 grand here and 30 grand. I thought that's about right. Um, and then all of a sudden I got a mouse and, oh, because your value is more than I was reading it and it was like 538,000 pound in a pension that I'd forgot about.

I'm like, well, I'll take that luck. Thank you very much. Um, you know?

Matt: I love that.

Neil: yeah, and, and it, and when I think back it was, you know, it was a time when I was, um, young and, and successful, I guess in sales, working in corporate land. But I remember someone saying to me at the time, you know, you, you're earning a fair bit of money.

You should put some money into these voluntary contributions I like to put pension. I thought, okay, you know, there were months I was earning 20 grand, 30 grand a month, you know, this is 20, 30 years ago. I didn't have anything to do with it. So I was like, well, okay, yeah, if you tell me that's a good thing to do, I'll do it. I didn't really pay much attention to it because I didn't miss it. Right. It was coming outta source. I forgot about it. Well, I did that for seven years and of course that seven years ultimately stacked up into this half million quid, which I totally forgot about, which I then found, which I was like, okay, I'll take that.

You know, because that absolutely, he helped me get to that net goal of, of me getting my, my net worth back again, albeit not in the way that I thought. Right. Um, and I started to realize at that point that I didn't really need to know how. I was gonna achieve what I wanted to achieve. It was more about why I wanted to achieve it.

And I had to let go of that how? Because for years I've been thinking, right, I'm gonna do it like this, you know, and write it down a bit of paper and cause that didn't happen. And then I get despondent and then I'll try some more and I'll get more despondent. And I started to realize that, well, maybe that's not the way, right?

Maybe that's not the way I'm meant to do it. So letting go of that, how to do it, um, was a big lesson for me. But as I let go of that, again, things just got easier because it's like, well, I know what I want. I know why I want it. I know when I want it, and I'm just gonna put faith over into the, the universe or the ether or call it what you like, that ultimately things will pan out and know why I want to do it.

And that, and have that real emotional attachment as to why do I want this right? Um, safe in the knowledge. Ultimately, it'll figure itself out. And so far, Things Absolutely have started to, to do that more and more and more. Uh, and I'm absolutely believer in that. So, uh, yeah. And then, and to say part of that was really understanding that yeah, earning money.

I realized I never made money. You know, there's plenty of money. There's an abundance of money. I never made any of it. I earned it. Um, and ultimately the, I earned more by serving more people. So I, I switched selling into serving. So instead of trying to sell to someone, I would serve that person. Um, and the more I served, the more I would earn, you know?

Um, and then just became a lot more educated as to why now I've got a bit of money and I'm absolutely not gonna lose it again. How do I protect that money? You know, how do I, how do I set up these vehicles? And my pension was another good, really good eye opener as to, well, that was actually pretty easy. I didn't need

Matt: Yeah.

Neil: The vehicle, I just needed to put the money into the pot and forget about it. And of course there are lots of those investment vehicles out there, whether that's pensions or bonds or um, you know, property or whatever it is. Right? But you don't need to, to know about them. You just have to have that disposable income and say, well, I've got a bit of money there, I'm gonna put it in that pot.

Right. Um, and, and I'm starting to do more and more of that. And, and that's still a massive part of where I'm at because. When I look at it, I actually think it was probably easier for me to make the money that I'm making, enjoying what I'm doing and then have that money make more money. Than it is for me to go and create a company and exit, uh, X amount of millions because I actually don't want a company again.

Right? I mean, I've got a business, the only people I employ in my business are my kids. So two of my kids are in, in that business, and I think the third one's just about to come in. Um, and outside of that, they're, they're freelancers in the big And I don't have an office. I don't want an office. I don't want lots of people.

I don't want to. I'm not a coder, I'm not gonna create the next bit of, uh, you know, wiz bank software. Um, so that fits in nicely with what I'm doing and I'm content with that, you know, and happy with that.

Matt: And it works

Neil: um, it's all good. Yeah. Yeah.

Matt: That's really fascinating and I, I'm listening to you, Neil, with, with avid interest talking about, you know, these, sort of, these six areas, which is, this has obviously come out of your personal experience. These are obviously very real for you. This is not just something you read on a fridge magnet somewhere.

Neil: No, totally. And

Matt: um,

Neil: yeah,

Matt: it, it, it's obviously very, very personal. Uh, and the, obviously the dogs getting involved, um, And at the start you said, you know, you were asking, someone asked you the question, what do you want? And you, you didn't know how to answer that. You knew what you didn't want. It was easy. It's funny how that's easier to verbalize, isn't it?

I know what I don't want, but I'm not quite sure what it is, what I, I do want. Um, and then you said, uh, that you know, you want, later on you said that you wanted to love and to be loved. So it sounds like there's this, this sort of real journey then that you've gone on through the bankruptcy, um, through all these things happening, which have, which have no, no worries.

Neil: So I'm on do not disturb, it's just my fiance's on my vip list as are the kids, I'm

Matt: Yeah. You know what? My, uh, my wife's on mine as well, so if she rang my phone would ring even though it's in do not disturb. Uh, and that's a good sign, Neil, that's a very good sign that, uh, that she's on that list, but it sounds like one hell of a journey, man. I, I, I think is, is, is, uh, is what I was gonna say there.

Neil: Yeah, it has. And, and I, you know what? I wouldn't change it. I mean, I really, I feel like I've lived at least a couple of lives, you know what I mean? So I got married, I met my, my first wife when I was very young, you know, she was 16, I was 17. You know, we fell in love, you know, we had a few kids. We lasted 15, 16 years.

Um, and I thought that was it. And then, and then I got asked this question, what, you know, what do I want? And I didn't know, but I realized that actually the things around me is not what I wanted. Um, and it changed the entire course of my life. And as much as I realized I'd fallen outta love with my wife and, um, I, I owed it to her to tell her that.

And I told her that and it didn't go down very well. And we split up and, and then I lost my business and dare I say it on, uh, on camera. She became an alcoholic and, and didn't last very long and died, you know, several years later. And that was pretty tough, right? So I'm thinking, oh, that's not the plan at all.

Right? Uh, and I, massive amount of guilt. But of course that was her journey. This was my journey. Would I do it any different? Well, of course I wouldn't, I'd still want it to be on the planet, but I wouldn't change anything. Cause that it was, it was real and it was true. And, and that was it. So, but when I look back, Yeah, I wasn't a very nice person in that marriage.

You know, I, I, there was a point where I was, you know, cheating on my wife and, you know, I, I, I, I was enjoying the success and I was a young guy and it, I just wasn't very nice. If I'd seen me today, I, I wouldn't have given me the time of day, but it was going through that. And I do believe that as, as people, we go through these phases, it, it is not necessarily an age thing, it's just a, a thing, right?

We just mature and we go through it. So, I don't judge anybody by that, but I remember thinking, I don't, I don't want this life. You know, it was, it was horrible from the outside in. People say, oh, you know, you're great and you've got a company, you're driving a nice car and you've got a bit of money. No, it was horrible.

It it, horrible, horrible. Um, so yeah, facing up to that and, and then really digging deep, say, well, how can I become a better person for it? Um, was the bit, it was a journey that just had to go on because the alternative was, All of the stuff that I didn't want. Right? So I've, I've always, I've got this life that I don't want, unless I make a change, I'm gonna carry on with the same thing.

Right? So it, and I didn't really, I, I kind of thought it'd be a lot easier. I thought in my head, well, I've got this, this, and this ticked I'll, I'll do this and I'll go over here and it'll all be great. And it wasn't. And it took me years, years of like horrible slog and hardwork just going round. And so, Trying to figure it out.

But what I did figure out after about four or five years is that I would fail quicker and I'd get over it quicker. So, you know, when my second or third business started and failed, it took me a year or something to, oh my God, poor boohoo, poor me, you know, all this work, all this effort. And then, and then I got over it, and then next one, and then, you know, failure again.

And then, and now you know, now Bo. Sorry listeners. Um, now and then it got to a point where I just recognized that that was just temporary setback and it wasn't a bad thing, just needed to learn from it. Um, sorry. He's barking at the tortoise cuz the tortoise is under there in my, um, so as say it just, it, it taught me a lot, you know, I said wouldn't change any of that and, but it, but it did take a while.

It took a lot longer than I thought. Um, and. Real soul searching. I mean, there were times when I was sat in my basement just crying, basically thinking, oh God, how has my life come to this? Right? So not that long ago, I had all of this and it was great, and you know, this one little thing wasn't quite right.

But because I wanted it all, I felt, you know, I deserved it. And I think we do all deserve whatever we want. And I do think you can have it all. I know there's some people who say you can't, but I, I do think we can have it all as long as you know what that is. Um, and that's, and that's basically what it boils down to.

And that's a really tough question. And I, and this is what I've been saying to my kids for years. And I'll keep saying to 'em, figure that out. Figure out what you really wanna do and then everything else will slide into place. Cause if you don't, no one's gonna come along and figure it out for you. And it doesn't get.

Easier with age, right? So you're 20 now. Trust me, when you're twenty five, if you still dunno the answer it, it's gonna get harder because we create these paradigms that then subconsciously say, well, I can't leave my job because I've gotta pay my rent, or I can't do that if you can. And I've done that many a time gone.

No, I've just, that's it. It's not what I want. I'm, I don't care what the consequences are. I've gotta be brave enough to have the courage of my conviction and go through with it, even though everyone around is again, What you doing, Neil? Hello. No, don't do that. You know, go and go and get a job. I can't do it.

I can't. It's not in me. I've gotta, I've gotta be true to myself, right? If I've gotta.

Matt: Hmm.

Neil: I've gotta at least be honest with that. So that, that was the toughest part. But that's been the most rewarding part of it because as I've gotten outta that and, and I'm now, I feel really lucky, uh, and blessed genuinely to, to have the lifestyle that I've got and the, the, the kids and the family and, and be able to sort of pick my nows and work with the people that I wanna work with and, and feel really fulfilled in what I do.

And not really ever thinking about retiring. It's not like, I think, well, you know, I mean, I can draw me pension in a couple of years, right? Um, but I don't wanna, I don't, I wanna carry on giving

Matt: Hmm

Neil: that's, uh, that's exciting for me. So, yeah, it's been a worthwhile journey, but,

Matt: Yeah, it sounds like it, man. It sounds like an epic. And it's interesting how you use phrases like, uh, you had to be honest with yourself, you know, and, and, um, and I, I find in life that you, you, you, there is a journey. There are ups and there are downs, and the people that are brutally honest with themselves tend to be the ones that come out stronger and better.

Neil: Yeah.

Matt: and it, it, it, it, I dunno, it's just one of those, I'm not a psychologist now, I don't claim to

Neil: I, I, I would agree. I think fear holds a lot of people back. You know, when I talk to people about, cause I do work with different people in different stages, right? I like to help anybody that wants to help themself, right? So if they're a business owner, they're already doing one and they wanna do better, and I can show them how to do that through technology, which is, Pretty much what I do as a consultant, and of course I wanna help them, but I get a lot of people say, well, I'm kind of thinking about starting my own thing.

And I say, well, why? And they go, well, I hate my job. I'm like, well, there's a reason right there, right? So if you hate your job right, that should be enough. And they go, well, yeah, but I can't, I can't do this cuz of that. And I'm like, well, you can't, but you've got have the courage to do it. And they say, well, no, no, I can't.

Cause if I leave my job, I can't pay my rent. But I, I know I've been there. You can pay your rent, you'll pay it in another way. And unless you open the door to that new opportunity, then maybe that new opportunity's never gonna present itself. So if choices are yours, you either say, well, I'm too scared and I'm gonna stick with the, you know, the, the lifestyle that I've got, even though I hate it, or I'm gonna be bold enough and brave enough to do it.

And of course, some people do it and then they, they fail quickly and then they go, you know what isn't for me? And that's fine if, if. If you're comfortable with whatever you, whatever lifestyle you've created, that's you, that's totally fine. I'm not suggesting that being an entrepreneur or being entrepreneur is for everybody.

It's not. Some people like the, the, the secret, I'll say the comfort factor, it really isn't the comfort factor. Um, but they like that sense of security, right? And it's the world we live in. So that's right for you, great. But if you've got something in you that says, you know what, I just wanna be more, I wanna do more.

Then absolutely go and do it. There's, that's simple as that planning stop to just get on with it, you know?

Matt: And the responsibilities on you to do that. Uh, like you say, not on the White Night. Listen, uh, Neil. Let's, um, I'm aware of time is rapidly, uh, creeping up on us. So I do want to do the question box, which is, you know, my state-of-the-art graphics here, the, the question box. So, um, you are gonna say stop as I flip through these questions and we're just gonna pick out a random question.

I'm curious right there. Okay.

Neil: Okay.

Matt: Okay. Have you and your partner or friends ever argued about taste?

Neil: Taste. A taste as in like taste of, um, you know, like tasting things or taste as in food taste tasting things, I'm

Matt: I'm, I'm, I'm assuming tasting things Neil, like, it's not, it's not a totally, it's not the best question, but it's an interesting question.

Neil: No, no. Um, no, I, I don't think we've argued about it. I mean, we, we are, we are, we have different tastes for sure. Um, but, but I'm, I'm quite open to different things and as much as I like lots of different genre of music right, I don't hate any particular music, just cuz it's not the type of music that someone else likes.

Um, And I accept that of course, we live in a world with lots of people opinions and, and what makes us different is the fact that we are all different. Right. Um, so no, I don't think we've argued about it. We talk about it a lot and I like to get my little influence in, but she absolutely gets her influence in, and I think the balance in the middle is, is harmony.

Matt: Don't you find that's the, that's the harmony. That's a great word. That's the beauty of relationships, isn't it? Cuz my wife and I have very different taste, uh, on a, on a whole raft of things. Um, but the beauty for me in marriage, we've been married 25 years this year. And part of the beauty in that is actually coming together and finding out what works for both. Right? And sometimes that's a quick pro, uh, quick thing. Sometimes it takes a few years. Uh,

Neil: Yeah.

Matt: but you've, you've, you know, I, I'd like you, I don't know if we've ever argued about taste. Um, I think that there are things that I've definitely not done or we've not done because we've not found agreement in taste is probably a good

Neil: Yeah. And I think that's probably right because I think, you know, that you, you, it is a partnership, right? You are in it together and Yeah. You know, if we both like the same things, I guess it'll be pretty boring anyway. But um, yeah, like you say, I, I think, you know, thrashing that, cause sometimes she will absolutely convince me, I guess maybe that I like something.

Well, I thought, no I don't because she said I. know, even as I look at the kitchen, this is not the kitchen that I would have chose, but I, I love it. Um, and she was absolutely adamant this is the kitchen we were gonna have. So there was never gonna be

Matt: Well, yeah. Fair play. Yeah. I, I, I, I felt like I couldn't get involved in that one, but yeah. Yeah, yeah. No, excellent. Listen, now the conversation has been awesome, man. I've got lots of notes. I loved your, your six categories there and, um, lots, lots to take away, lots to think about. And if people want to reach out to you, if people want to connect with you, what is the best way to do that, sir?

Neil: So, I mean, thankfully I'm the only Neil Morecraft in the world that I know of, so if you Google Neil Morecraft, you're gonna find the first page of me. Um, there are, and, and, but you have to spell my name right. So m o r e c r a f t. If you google me, you'll find me. Um, I'm, I'm quite active on LinkedIn, so that's the easiest thing to do.

Reach out to me on LinkedIn. Of course, you can go to neilmorecraft.com and there are a number of different ways there that you can engage with me, whether that's, you know, someone starting in business with a grand business, et cetera. I've got different ways of dealing with different people. But, uh, yeah, either direct to my website, there's a little quiz there you can take, which will tell you whether or not I'm a good fit for whatever is you are doing.

And if not, you can reach, reach out to me on LinkedIn.

Matt: Fantastic. Listen, Neil, it's been an absolute treat man. Really appreciate you coming onto the show. Uh, thank you so much, uh, for, for all that you've sort of shared. It's been brilliant. And of course, we will link to Neil's info in the show notes as well. So if you'll sign up to the newsletter or if you're on the website, you'll find all of those links in today's show notes.

So a big thanks again to Neil. What a great conversation. Uh, I really enjoyed that. I genuinely did. Got lots of notes. Uh, so, and also a big shout out to today's show sponsor Aurion Media. If you're wondering if podcasting is a good marketing strategy for your business, do connect with them at aurionmedia.com.

That's A U R I O N media dot com. And of course, you'll find the link on the pushtobemore.com website as well. Now be sure to follow the Push to Be More podcast wherever you get your podcast from because we've got yet more great conversations lined up just like today's. And I don't want you to miss any of them.

And in case no one has told you yet today, you are awesome. Yes, you are created awesome. It's just a burden. You have to bear it. Neil has to bear it. I have to bear it. You've gotta bear it as well. Now, Push to Be More is produced by Aurion Media. You can find our entire archive of episodes on your favorite podcast app.

The team that makes this show possible is Sadaf Beynon, Estella Robin and Tanya Hutsuliak. Our theme music was written by Josh Edmundson, and as I mentioned, if you would like to read the transcript or show notes, head on over to our website, pushtobemore.com and of course, sign up to the newsletter if you haven't done so already.

Now that's it from me. That's it from Neil. Thank you so much for joining us. Have a fantastic week wherever you are. Yeah, absolutely. We'll see you next time. Bye for now.